At a loss

I had every intention of posting an Iron Girl recap today but I have to postpone it.  The events that transpired yesterday at the Boston Marathon has left me speechless.  I cannot believe something like this happened. And even more, that these types of events continue to happen.  It truly has me sick to my stomach and my mind going a mile a minute.

On my drive home from work, I was listening to sports radio (like usual).  I have to commend the guys at 98.7 The Fan.  They handled the situation in the most respectful manner.  They didn't just touch upon what happened and then continue on with their normal sports talk.  They abandoned their usual programming and provided continuous coverage.  Sometimes we just need to be in the moment.

It got me thinking about everything that's happened during my life.  There's been so much tragedy in my short 30 years.  I remember the Oklahoma City Bombing.  No one will ever forget 9/11 and where they were when they heard the news (I was in my dorm room at USF being woken up by a dorm mate banging on my door wanting to use my iron for his fatigues).  Virginia Tech Shooting.  Columbine.  The Colorado movie theater shooting.  Sandy Hook.  Now the Boston Marathon.  It all got to me before but now I have kids. That changes the game.  Thank goodness my kids are too young to understand what's happened.  I can't imagine how I would handle having to explain why someone would want to hurt innocent people.  I can't wrap my head around that for myself.  How am I supposed to explain it to an innocent child?

Will things get better for my children's generation?  Will they have to witness the same senseless tragedy that I have?  How can I protect them from the horrors in the world?  I know I can't shield them from everything but I pray that I can help them navigate through this scary world so they still see the good in people.  That they don't become jaded by society.  That they aren't afraid to live their lives to the fullest.

Truer words have never been spoken.  I pray my children have this same view and that I can be the example for them like Mr. Rogers's mother was for him.  She was a wise woman.

While I am by no means a good runner, I have fallen in love with the camaraderie and fanfare that goes along with the running community.  This community is one that inspires and supports one another.  I've experienced this is every race I've been in.  When I'm feeling like I can't take another step, there's a spectator or volunteer or fellow runner there to pick me up.  Whether it be a cheer, a "You can do it" or clever sign on the side of the road, or the 60 yr old runner who's out there on the course, it's that sense of inspiration, family, and support that pulls me through.  I can't begin to imagine what it was like for the runners, spectators, event staff, and volunteers yesterday. But I have seen that same sense of family and support from runners throughout the world.  The amount of prayers, love, and support being spread all over social media is amazing.  And it is in that place of love that we'll start to pick up the pieces and move on.  We will not forget what happened but we'll run faster, run longer, and run with more purpose in our step because of it.

Today I'm sporting my yellow and blue in honor of the victims and I know the rest of the running world is too

      

It's OK but.....

I'm putting a little spin on this week's It's OK Thursday.  This week, all my It's Ok's are dreams of mine followed by a strong dose of reality. Hope y'all like it!!!

It's OK.......
~to aspire to be a SAHM who prepares the healthiest food, who participates in all the play groups, who has a spotless house, and who does amazing crafts with their kids but......know that I'd drive myself BANANAS if this was my life
~to make my own coffee at home because it's so much cheaper but.....realize that Starbucks will always make a better cup than me, regardless how much it costs
~to say I'm only going to read one more chapter before going to bed but....end up staying up and finishing the book before my head hits the pillow
~to say I'm only eating fro yo once a week but....end up eating it at least 3 times per week

I have a prayer request as well.  Heaven got a new Angel Tuesday night.  We lost one of the cutest little girls.  Please pray for her family as they learn to live without their sweet girl.  Please pray for the doctors and nurses who have cared for this little girl.  We work in a difficult profession where death is part of the game.  But it never makes it easier on us. Unfortunately deaths seem to come in 3's so please pray for all of us as we wait and see what the future holds for our patients.
 

Another prayer request

Prayers are needed again friends.  This is a horrible time right now for our practice.  Wednesday morning, God called another child home to be with Him.  Thursday, we found out a child, who was done with treatment, has horrible brain disease with no treatment options, and today, another little girl is fighting.  Please say prayers for these patients and their families, but also for the doctors and nurses who are doing all they can.  It's been a rough year for us and I just don't know how much more I can handle, emotionally. 

Heaven has the cutest angel

Thank you so much for all the prayers for Adrian.  The Lord opened his arms and called him home on Sunday morning.  While I'm saddened by this, I find joy in knowing that he is free.  Free from disease, free from pain, free from fighting.  He has received the ultimate reward for his battle, spending eternity with the Lord. 

I ask that you continue to pray for his sweet parents.  They are faced with living life without their little boy.  Please pray that they will find the strength to move forward, that peace fills their hearts, and that they may be comforted in this time of tragedy.

The angels better watch out because Heaven got a whole lot cuter on Sunday morning!!!

A Prayer Request

This is a time for prayers.  A sweet baby boy is fighting for his life.  A mere 13 months old and he is on very borrowed time.  His parents, who are so sweet and loving, are having to slowly watch their only child fight to even breathe. 

This is when I hate my job. 

ATRT has taken over his small little body.  No matter how much chemo we gave him, no matter how many radiation treatments he had, this horrible cancer is taking over.  His parents have decided to take him to the Hospice House to spend their last hours with him.

From the moment I laid eyes on him, I loved him.  We all tend to find our "boyfriends" (aka favorite patients) and he had me from the first smile.  I took care of him on initial diagnosis.  I told everyone that I would fight anyone who tries to take my boyfriend away from me.  His mom loved it and you know he loved it too!  Even if he was not my patient, I would go out of my way to visit him.  I'm thankful I stopped by to visit him on Tuesday.  Tuesday was the first time I thought he looked small.  It was the first time I thought he looked vulnerable.  It was also the first time I saw in his mom's eyes how scared she was. 

I ask you to pray for this amazing little boy.  While I am devastated by the events that are unfolding, I am comforted to know that he is ultimately winning his battle against cancer.  He will soon be pain-free, able to breathe with ease, and spending the rest of eternity with the angels, watching over us all.

I ask you to pray for his parents.  They have been so strong for the past 5 months.  They have watched their son go through surgeries, chest tubes, chemotherapy, radiation, hoping and praying that they would receive a miracle.  Now they are going through any parent's worst nightmare.  How do you say goodbye to your child?  How do you hold them while they slowly slip away from you?  Please pray for them, that they will find the strength to get them through, that they feel God's love surrounding them.

Lord, I know this is all in your plan.  Thank you for letting me be a small part of Adrian's big life.