It's OK

It's OK.....

~to be stressed that Noah turns 6 in 2 days
~to have had a great anniversary
~to be excited about seeing Wicked on the 20th thanks to my amazing brother in law!  Sorry you guys can't go now but I appreciate you giving us your tix as an anniversary gift!
~to be obsessed with grey and yellow
~to want my tax return to be here like yesterday.  We've got so many projects and fun times planned!!!
~to be proud of my kiddos for the way they behaved in Mass this past Sunday
~to be excited that college football is over!!!!!
~that pitchers and catchers report in 33 days!
~to be nervous that we're putting money on our fantasy baseball league this year
~to want to be back to back champion of our fantasy league
~to want my new bathroom
~to have quite the social calendar for January and love every minute of it!!!
 

What I Learned from Pinterest

~I have a very strange obsession with grey and yellow
~If I were getting married again, my colors would be grey and yellow
~You can plan the best parties and never have them leave your computer
~I can be my own hair stylist (and actually make it look like the pin)
~Everything's better with burlap
~Two words.....Gallery Wall
~You can be that cute Mom who sends in the most creative treats
~DIY everything!!!!
~I'm now an amazing chef (in my mind)
~Did I mention my new found love of grey and yellow?!?

Why Pregnant People Should NEVER Make Decisions

Almost 4 years ago, the Hubs and I bought our house.  We fell in love with it the minute we walked in....or at least I did.  The Hubs had to see past the original 1978 lime green carpet and bamboo wallpaper.  I was 5.5 months pregnant and was having the time of my life.  I now had my own house to decorate however I wanted.  So we headed to Lowes to pick out flooring, light fixtures, and paint.  Boy did I have fun in the paint department.  A million colors to choose from.  And boy did I choose color.  Every room was a different color.  Nothing neutral.  I have absolutely no idea what I was thinking.

This is Pregger Brain at it's finest.

Fast forward 3.5 years, I pretty much hate every room.  We finally redid the living room, which I'm now in love with.  It went from green and brown to an awesome grayish blue.  I'm so much happier with the way it looks now.

The kids bedrooms are next on the list.  Noah's room is very blue.  It's a crazy blue with deep red curtains.  It worked for when his room was a Backyardigans theme when we moved in but now that he's almost 6, it's a little crazy looking.  I'm hoping to paint the room a sand color.  Em's room is one that I love though.  It's a pale lime green with a raspberry trim.  It matched her nursery bedding to a tee. Now she says "it's creepy" and "she doesn't like her room green."  I'm trying to hold on to the color because it means she's still my little baby but I know I'm going to be heading to Lowes to choose a couple colors that I could live with....pale yellow, pale pink, etc.

The only rooms that I still like are our bedroom and our dining room.  I'm pretty sure I only like the dining room because it was bare for a good year before I could decide on something.  I'm absolutely in love with the red walls.  I finally found the perfect curtains for the room.  That was a 3 year endeavor in itself.

I'm now in the process of updating our bathroom.  It dawned on me last week that I absolutely hate the bathroom.  It's painted the same color as Emmy's room but that's about the only appealing part of it.  It's a very tiny bathroom with horrible cabinets. The Hubs told me this past weekend that he hated the bathroom so that was my ticket to Bathroom ReDo!!!!  I'm so excited for this makeover.  Maybe even more excited than I was for our living room makeover.  We're getting a new vanity, mirror, lighting, medicine cabinet, fixtures...pretty much everything is getting replaced except the shower and toilet.  The Hubs is on board for my Grey and Yellow color scheme.  I currently have 2 grey paint chips and 1 yellow chip taped to the wall so I can ponder a little.  I'm pretty much sold on grey as the wall color.  I just have to decide how dark.  This room is going to be so sleek and crisp.  I just can't wait!!!  I've even started a board for it!

Just another reason why pregnant people shouldn't make big decisions....you end up living in a house where a rainbow threw up in it.  You'll be miserable just looking at the walls and you'll spend a million dollars changing everything.  Although it does give you a reason to put that "House Pretties" board on Pinterest to use!!!!

Happy Anniversary!!!

Happy 7th Anniversary to me and the Hubs!!!

Today is not a mushy post because I don't think I can top last year's post (it's one of my all time favorites).
Today is all about having fun, enjoying each other and our family.
Today is about us.

Our Wedding Day: January 7, 2006

Our 1st Anniversary (Noah was born 5 days later)

Our 4th Anniversary (not sure where pics of the 2nd and 3rd are)

5th Anniversary

6th Anniversary at Disney

Today we're headed to Seasons 52 for dinner then to see Les Mis.

I promise that the Hubs won't be wearing the same purple dress shirt that he's worn in almost every picture.  

The reason I really need to figure out Photoshop

All I need to do is actually watch the tutorials that my BIL put on my computer and I'll be able to take Noah from the first picture and add him to Emmy from the bottom pic.  Then I'd have the greatest Christmas morning picture!

2013 is going to be the Year of Jess

I just have this feeling.  The feeling that this year is going to be a great one for me.  I probably said this last year which is why I'm not going to do a recap of my 2012 goals.  I really don't feel like starting the year off depressed.  Instead I want to start the year off with a positive attitude.

I had a lot of wake up calls in 2012.  I realized that people are not invincible. I dealt with another loss of a grandparent.  I am so blessed that I spent 29 years with all 4 of my grandparents.  I know not many people can say that.   But losing both my grandpas, with one of my grandmas currently in the hospital, really started to make things register for me.  Life is precious and we can't take it for granted.  I really want to make 2013 the year of memories for my family.  Living in the now.  Taking advantage of everything that comes our way.  Show my kids what it means to live life.

My marriage was another wake up call last year.  Without going into too much detail, mainly because there really are some topics that need to stay off the blog, we almost called it quits.  That's a difficult thing to swallow.  No one expects to be on the brink of divorce when they get married.  I would have never thought things would come to this.  But we wanted to do everything we could to figure things out.  We found a great counselor and learned a lot about communication.  We're two stubborn kids who don't know when to just calm down and listen.  I'd love to say that everything was his fault (and I might to my friends) but I know I share just as much blame.  I want this year to be about rekindling that spark.  Getting back to that amazing place we once were together.

Obviously health and weight are huge areas I need to focus on.  I've had a few health issues this year and I really don't feel like repeating them this year.  I want to make 2013 a year of healthy choices and good decisions.  Not only because I need to be healthier myself but because of my kids.  I really want to be a good example for them.  If this means our grocery bill sees a few extra dollars each week, then so be it.  My kids are young and I want to instill good choices and good decision making in them now so when they get to be my age, they're not blogging about how they wish they'd done something differently the year before.

Weight will always be at the forefront for me.  I've struggled for years.  I've lost weight and gained it back (and repeated this cycle a few times).  I always say this time is the last time yet here I sit, ready to give it another try.  But not this year.  I had a very rude awakening to my own body issues and how it affects not only me but the people around me.  Case in point...we like to go to a local pizza place and there's a Yogurtland and an ice cream shop on either side.  I go for fro yo every time and most of the time, Em comes with me.  The boys go for the real stuff.  This last time we were getting ready to walk out of Yogurtland and I was helping Em get her jacket on.  We were in front of the store window so we could see our reflections.  As I was zipping up her jacket, Em looks in the window and says "Ugh I'm so fat Mommy."  Break my heart into a million pieces right there.  My sweet sweet girl, who is actually underweight for her age, is looking at her reflection and calling herself fat.  Now I'm sure she has no idea what that word really means but obviously she's heard it and learned to associate it with looking in the mirror from someone.  I have never felt like such a failure in my life.  So from here on out, it's not about focusing on numbers.  Yes, I'd love to see a number show up on the scale that's about 40-50 lbs lighter than it says today.  But I need to focus on loving me, loving the girl I am, and loving the body I have at this current moment.  Because if I don't figure this out, I'm going to have a little girl who will follow right in my footsteps, regardless if she's got a weight issue or not.  (if anyone has any advice on this front, please please please send it my way)

I think this year I'm going to take it one step at a time.  I'm not going to put unrealistic goals and expectations on myself.  I'm going to make this year about a healthier me, both physically and mentally.  It sounds kinda selfish that I plan on this year being all about me.  But I've learned the hard way the hard way that I cannot and will not be any good for anyone else if I don't take care of myself.  I can't be the mom that I want to be, the wife that I want to be, the friend that I want to be, the Jessica I want to be without putting some focus back on myself.

So here's to me.  May this year be the year that it finally clicks.  That I finally realize that taking care of me is just as important as taking care of my kids, the Hubs, or my patients. That I can look in the mirror and love the girl I see staring back at me.

Happy 2013!!!
  

2012

Happy New Year to everyone!!!

I can't believe it's 2013 already.  Time truly is flying and I wish it would slow down just a little.  I feel like life is passing me by and I can't keep up.  As we ring in this new year, I want to take a trip down memory lane to remember the past year.

2012 was both a great year and a horrible year for us.
~We started the year off thankful for my Grandmother's presence.  It was touch and go for a moment at the end of 2011.
~Noah celebrated his 5th birthday
~My Grandpa celebrated what would soon be his final birthday
~The Hubs and I had a magical anniversary night in Cinderella's Castle
~I started my weight loss journey
~I got up the urge to branch out and meet some blogger gals and boy am I glad I did!
~I did my first guest post
~We took the kids to see The Fresh Beat Band
~My mom and I spent Spring Break at Disney with the kiddos
~Baseball returned!!!
~Celebrated birthdays and weddings
~I finally let go of my crazy and left the kids with a non family member babysitter for the first time
~Went to concerts a plenty
~Did a total living room home makeover and couldn't be happier
~The Hubs and I hit the very bottom.  I mean rock bottom.
~Started seeing a counselor
~Made a commitment to each other to make it work
~We said goodbye to my Grandpa
~We spent a few days in Orlando with my Grandma after Grandpa passed.  Thanks to that, I have the most amazing memories and pictures
~I turned the big Three Oh and welcomed it in with a great tailgate and concert with my faves
~Our baby girl turned 3
~Em had her first day of PreK and Noah started Kindergarten
~Em got her first haircut (and first busted lip and black eye)
~Em started taking dance
~Em stopped taking dance
~Em is now back in dance (long story)
~I battled a few different health issues.
~B12 is now my friend
~Kidney stones suck ass
~I gained all my weight back
~We had an amazing Thanksgiving
~Our Friends Dinner was a huge success
~We were blessed to have all of our family together for Christmas morning

2012 was a year of impact for me.  The loss of another grandparent and the realization of the frailty of another helps to put things into perspective.  The Hubs and I almost called it quits.  That moment was probably one of the lowest moments I've ever faced.  But we love each other so much that no matter how frustrated/angry/hurt by the other we were, it fueled our drive to make us work again.  And I'm happy to say it's pretty good.  We've been blessed with so much and I'm so thankful to have my family and friends there to experience everything with me.

To you and your family, we wish you a very Healthy and Happy New Year!