It's Bittersweet.....

First things first....can I just say how in LOVE I am with the My Fitness Pal app?!?!!?  I don't know how I lived life before this.  It is so similar to the points system for WW and tracking.  I think this will definitely help me in my weight loss challenge.  Plus, I'm in love with scanning the barcodes and having the info magically show up on my screen.  Easy Peasy!

Ok.  Now that's out of the way. On to the important stuff....

Me and change don't get along too well.  Actually I pretty much despise any significant change.  I stress out about hair color and styles (probably why my color's all grown out and my hair is in such a horrible state). I stress over pretty much everything.  So one can only imagine how much I'm freaking out about my HUGE change that's occuring right now. 

I have worked at All Children's for 3.5 years now on the oncology unit.  I have stuck with it when I thought I absolutely hated hem/onc (and actually I love it).  I've worked with the most amazing group of people this whole time and made some of the greatest friends.  All in all, I've had a wonderful time.  However, its time for a change.  My family and my marriage have suffered in the 5 years that I've been a nurse.  12 hour shifts are great but they come with strings attached.  Mandatory holidays, mandatory weekend requirements, shifts that turn into 13-15 hours shifts.  All of this made my life a little bit harder. So when the opportunity to move to our outpatient clinic presented itself, I had to take advantage of it. 

Starting Monday, I will be starting at the Hem/Onc/BMT outpatient clinic at All Children's.  Location-wise, it's not a big move.  Just across the street.  Patient population-it's the same.  I'll be taking care of the same patients I've been taking care of in the hospital setting.  But I'll be seeing the ones who are almost done with their cancer treatment.  Ones that we haven't seen in the hospital in months (and even years for some kids).  Hours-AWESOME!!!  I'll be working 4 10hr shifts/week.  No weekends or holidays.  Translation: I'll see my kids each night before they go to bed and I'll be able to spend the weekends and holidays at home, where I want to be more than anything.  The Hubs is so thrilled for this schedule.  He can't wait to be able to see me and do stuff.  I'm just excited that I won't have to miss family events, birthdays, get togethers, etc because I have to work on the weekends.  Oh and I get my own desk!  And I'll even have my own phone number with my name on caller ID.  How cool is that?!?

The trade off for all of these wonderful things I just listed.....CHANGE.  Cue the tears, anxiety, hives (yes I'm a loser and break out in hives from stress. Go ahead, call me a weirdo....I'm ok with it).  I have to learn a whole new system, work with a whole new group of girls, and most importantly, I have to leave all my friends on 7S.  That is going to be the hardest part.  I am not looking forward to tomorrow.  I'm sure I'll end up crying at some point and I'm sure I'll be questioning the decision all day long.  I am not looking forward to it at all.  And I can only imagine how I'll be Monday morning.  My new boss is already making fun of me because I've asked her 100 times where I need to go and how to get there.  I'm sure I won't sleep and will have an upset stomach, and be a Nervous Nelly.  But I know way down deep, this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing. God gave me this opportunity to grow as a woman, nurse, mother, and wife.  How could I not take Him up on it?

Now that you know how crazy I am, you must be thinking, "how is she going to survive until Monday?"  Well I can easily answer that.....avoidance.  Yes my go-to defense mechanism.  Why deal with it when you can avoid it!  So I have filled my day today with housework, blog stalking (in a non creepy way!!!), maybe a nap, and probably a run.  I work tomorrow then wake up really early on Sunday to run the IronGirl 5K at Clearwater Beach before heading to Parrish to ride on Thomas the Train (who really creeps me out but my son loves him.  The sacrifices I make because I'm a cool Mommy).  Then a new chapter in my life begins.  I'm sure I'll have nothing but great things to fill you in on after my first shift on Monday! 

So to honor my time on 7S, here are a few pics of my favorite moments:

Some great memories with the staff of 7S...there's always a lot of food and funny costumes

With some of my patients over the years..some cancer free, some still fighting and some earned their angel wings

   With all joking aside, I'm excited to make this change.  Yes, I'm really nervous and anxious but that's good.  It makes it exciting. 

I can't wait for my 5K this weekend and spending time with some of my amazing sisters!!!

Have a great weekend friends!!!