Let's be serious for a moment

Normally on Thursdays I join all the cool people on Amber and Neely's "It's OK" link up but I think I'm going to take a lil break from that and get a lil serious.  I wrote earlier this week that I'm back on the Weight Watchers bandwagon.  I have a love/hate relationship with WW.  I love them because the program really does work.  It's not a sham.  And the best part about it...I can eat ice cream every night of the week and still lose the pounds.  I hate WW because I have to go to them.  I really hate that I need this program to help me.

I feel like I've had a weight problem my whole life.  I was never the skinny kid.  I was always the girl with the "athletic" build....aka huge, muscular thighs and a boxy shape.  I never minded it because I was athletic.  I played sports all the time and once I hit 8th grade, I was playing volleyball 11 months out of the year.  Once I hit college, I realized that the "athletic" build wasn't the standard.  Unfortunately the dreaded Freshmen 15 hit me....a few times over.  I was at my heaviest and really miserable.  My sophomore year was a little better but I decided the summer between sophomore and junior year that I was going to change things.  I joined WW with my mom and grandma and dropped almost 30lbs.  I was feeling great.  I gained a little of it back, met my husband, and got pregnant.  So needless to say, I had some extra weight on me that never really left.  A few more years went by, no weight went away.  I had my daughter and finally decided it was time to do something.  I was at my heaviest ever and really unhappy.  So back on program I went.  And I did really well. 25lbs melted off and I was looking good and feeling great.  And what happens....I think I can do it myself.  I went off program this time last year and it's been all downhill since.  I am happy to say that I did not gain every single pound back (there's like 3 that I didn't gain back) but it's all back.  I'm very disappointed in myself because I let myself fall back into all of my bad habits.  What kind of role model is that for my kids?  How is it fair that I want them to eat right and stay healthy when I'm doing nothing to make myself healthy?
So this time around, I'm truly ready for this.  Not only am I sick of being overweight, I'm in the right mindset to make this work.  I've been on program since Saturday and you know what?  I feel amazing.  I haven't had a soda since Sunday.  I'm drinking my weight in water (my kidneys don't know what the hell is happening).  I'm turning to fruits and veggies when I'm hungry instead of chips and other junk.  I've cheated a little and jumped on the scale and I'm already down a pound or 2.  I am really looking forward to my weigh in on Tuesday.  I've never looked forward to a weigh in...ever.  I truly think that this is the time for me.  This is the time I take control over my weight and my habits.  I can't wait to see how this goes.  And I do have to say thanks to the Hubs for supporting me in this.  Never once has he ever said anything about me gaining weight.  He's always said I'm pretty, regardless of how horrible I think I look.  He's always there to support my need for this program and my need to succeed.  Even though we're not doing the program together, I feel like he's going through the whole process with me. Thanks Hubs!!!

Well that was depressing.  I guess it's ice cream time (and I'm totally allowed to!!!)