Tiny Dancer

It's funny the way my life has turned out.  I'm not girly at all  yet I'm blessed with the girliest of girls.  I grew up playing sports and being with the boys.  Now I find myself spending my days at the dance studio.  And you know, I wouldn't change it for the world!

Almost 2 years ago I was debating whether to put Emmy in gymnastics or dance.  She's naturally coordinated and athletic.  She's strong despite her tiny frame. Ultimately, Emmy chose dance.  We found an amazing studio, one that was recommended to me by a former patient's mother and from my aunt.  My aunt was a professional dancer and told me to look into Dance Central because she used to dance with the studio owner. Ironically enough, it was the same studio my patient's mother recommended.  We met Miss Kelley and Emmy fell in love.

Last year, Emmy had a hard time.  She did really well with dance and was so cute! But we were going through a lot with her health-wise. She was sick a lot and went through a period where she just wouldn't dance.  Miss Kelley supported us (mainly me) throughout the whole issue.  We took a month off and Emmy regrouped.  Then she ended up having surgery a few weeks before the recital. Emmy still managed to perform, looking oh so cute!

Left: Emmy's first day of dance
Right: Emmy's last day of dance at the recital

We took the summer off to see if Emmy's health issues calmed down.  But we also took the time off to let Emmy grow up a little.  Being a very young 3 and having the demands of routine and structure that come with dance, on top of going to school for the first time, was a lot for her I think.  I think she just wasn't ready for all of that.  So when she said she wanted to go back to dance, I knew this was for real.  So we have spent every Saturday morning at the studio this year. She loves learning new moves and learning how to make her body do new things. She got to know her "big girls" (the elementary/middle schoolers who help teach her class) and loved doing what they could do. She did a great job at the winter performance, proving that spiders can be the cutest things in the world!

"Itsy Bitsy Spider" at the Winter Performance

As we near the end of the season, I just can't get over how much she's grown up.  She's learned so much and she's loving every minute of it.  This time last year she wouldn't even dance unless I was sitting in the doorway.  Now she's telling me I can't be backstage at the recital because I'm "not a dancer like her."  I can't get her to leave the studio on Saturdays.  She would stay there all day if I let her.  That just goes to show that we chose the right studio.  Emmy found her home at Dance Central and I couldn't be happier.

Dancing with the big girls

How we spend our Saturdays 

Only a matter of time before she's doing this without the wall's help

Showing off the new DC boy shorts!!!  She thinks she's a big girl now!

I'm happy that she's found her home because she's going to be spending a lot more time at the studio next year.  Emmy (or EmmyBell as Miss Kelley calls her) will be a member of the Competition Team next season!!!!  She's so excited (and so am I).  She can't wait to get to perform and show off all her moves!  I'm so proud of her! And she's proud to be a DC Dancer!!!!!

Thank you Miss Kelley for welcoming us into the DC Family and loving my EmmyBell as much as you do. She absolutely adores you and I'm so thankful that we have you in our lives!!!  Thank you for believing in her and helping her see how much she's capable of!

The coolest baked good I've ever made

So back to my recaps on Emmy's Tangled birthday party.  We've already talked about the decorations so now we're on the good stuff...the cake.

I love to bake.  I'd rather bake than cook.  For some reason, baking makes me feel creative and artistic. I don't get that feeling from cooking. Last year was all about being creative for my children's birthdays.  Noah got Lego cookies for school and a Lego cake for home.  When I started planning (or pinning) Emmy's party, I knew exactly what I was going to make.  I found this pin and knew this was perfect for my baby girl's party.

via

How perfect are these Rapunzel towers?!?!?!  A great twist on the classic cupcake.  I headed to Michaels and got my supplies.  They were quite easy to make too.  I used a boxed cake mix (I'm not above that) and prepared it per the directions. I put ice cream cones in a muffin tin to help stabilize them and filled them 1/2 way to 2/3's of the way up.  I baked them according to the box and they baked perfectly inside the cone.  I baked them all the night before because I knew I had 40 of them to decorate the next day.  If I could do it over, I would make sure the only task I had on the day of the party was the cupcakes because the cones got a little stale.  I'm not sure if being in the oven caused the staleness or because they were made the day before.  Either way, they were a huge hit.

My brother's girlfriend was a lifesaver and came over early to help me finish them.  I can't thank her enough because I'd still be decorating them months later if it wasn't for her.  I just love that girl so much!!!

Here's our Rapunzel Towers.  I think they turned out perfectly!

Our creations

That's a lot of cupcakes

My birthday girl

Make a Wish

And I have to share this picture because it captures Em's pure joy at her party.  She had the best time with her friends from school, her cousins, and our family. We're so blessed to have so many people who love our children.

Tangled Party: AKA Momma Gets Crafty

Let's jump in the time machine and head back to the summer.  Emmy turned 4 in August and, of course, wanted a Princess Party.  Every party she's ever had has been a princess one.  She was a 1st Birthday Princess.  Then there was Little Mermaid and Brave.  So which princess would be the lucky one for her 4th?  Rapunzel of course!!!  So I did what any good mom would do....create a party board on Pinterest!!!!

I had originally bought the standard party store decorations but with a week to go before the party, I shifted gears and went completely homemade for everything.  I made the Hubs take most of the decorations back and used the money for my craft supplies.  I found a few pins for bunting and other decorations.  I cut out the sun logo that's seen throughout Rapunzel's kingdom and got to work.  I painted it on the bunting.  I made paper lanterns.  I braided 25 feet of yarn to make a Rapunzel braid to decorate our entry way with.  Each girl got a Rapunzel braid on a ponytail holder to wear for the party.  I even made the Magic Golden Flower that gives Rapunzel's hair its magic powers.  I might have gone a little overboard for a 4 year old's party but I had so much fun doing it.  I have set a high standard for myself for future parties though.

Without further adieu....Emmy's decorations!!!!

Making my templates for the bunting and paper lanterns

Paper lanterns in full effect

Tea staining my Wanted Posters

25 foot Rapunzel Braid

Rapunzel braids for all the girls

It turned out really nice

I love the way the lanterns looked!!!

I'm so happy with how it turned out.  I don't know if I'd change a thing.  It wasn't overtly Tangled but if you saw the movie, you appreciated the touches I did.  I'm so thrilled with the cupcakes I made that they're getting their own post!!!  Probably the most exciting thing that I've done so far in my baking career!!!!

Tiny Ballerina

I'm sure I talked a lot about Emmy's dancing.  This past year was her first year in dance. She is quite talented and picked it up right away. We went through a very rough patch in December, making us take an entire month off of dance. But then she was back.  Surgery kinda derailed our progress because she missed a few weeks right before recital time. I was really nervous that she wouldn't actually dance in the recital.  But I kept my fingers crossed and headed into rehearsal week.

If I have anything negative to say about the whole recital experience it's rehearsal week.  I totally understand that this is a production and it has to be perfect.  But having 2 and 3 year olds at the studio every night from 5-8pm is just wrong.  It's hard for little ones to sit still but to ask them to be at the studio every night and be still was a bit much. Em did pretty good for most of the days. She ended up sitting with me a lot, which was totally ok in my book.  It was a rough week for both of us.

Dress Rehearsal

I went in to recital night a bit on edge.  I wasn't confident Em would dance.  She let me do her makeup and get her in her costume but once we got to the auditorium, she was back to her old panicked self.  She wouldn't go back stage.  She didn't want me to leave her. She was on the verge of tears the whole time.  I finally talked to the studio director to come up with a game plan.  She told me I could watch from the wings and then take her back to our seats once her dance was over.  That was the best solution she could offer me.  I took it in the hopes that Em would actually dance.  It wasn't until about 30 seconds before their dance that she actually got out of my arms and headed on to the stage.

On our way to the auditorium

There's something about little girls in big tutus that can put a smile on anyone's face.  The performance was great.  It got a little off track in the middle but the girls were so cute that it didn't matter.  Em danced and that's all I could ask for.  I was so proud of her!

To Miss Kelley....Thank you so much for believing in Emily.  She had her ups and downs and you stood behind her.  You never gave up on her which means the world to me. She loves to dance and you're a huge part of that.  Making Em a DC girl was one of the best choices we've made for her. Being a part of the Dance Central family has become a huge part of who we are. Thank you for always welcoming us with open arms. And thank you for making this such an amazing experience for Emily (and me).  We love you!!!!

Em loves her Miss Kelley!!!!

My tiny dancer on her first day of dance and at her recital

 Don't forget to enter my Keurig Brew Over Ice giveaway!!!!
 

Under the Knife

Man I can't believe it's been over a month since Em had surgery.  I started writing this post on May 13th (her surgery was on May 10th) and now it's June 11th.  Huge slacker over here!!!!  So let's pick up where I left off......

Everyone knows that we've been facing some challenges with Em's health.  Friday was the big day.  Em's adenoids were finally coming out and we could get back on our journey to normalcy.  I was in full on nurse mode for most of the morning.  Surgery wasn't scheduled until 1:45pm, which I was not thrilled about.  She couldn't eat after midnight but could drink clear liquids and have popsicles until 10:45am.  Well let me tell you...she woke up demanding food.  I've never felt so bad for anyone in my life.  She had no idea why she couldn't eat breakfast like any other day.  It was so bad that I made the Hubs got to Publix and buy popsicles for her.  She ate about 3 for breakfast, which she thought was pretty cool.  But then the hard part came when she couldn't have anything else.  That was the longest few hours of my life. She just cried and would get mad and not understand.  But we all stuck it out and survived!  We loaded the car and headed to Brandon to have her surgery.

Not happy to be going to surgery

Google Maps gave me the most ridiculous directions to the surgery center but we found it no problem.  She was all excited to go in and play.  We waited for her name to be called and finally we headed back to meet up with the doc and anesthesia.  Let me tell you, Dr Vaughn was awesome!  Not only was he great with Em, he was very knowledgeable and very nice on the eyes!!! I know that shouldn't make a difference but it helped.  Plus a good friend of mine used to work with him and spoke so highly of him.  I was blessed that he would be the one managing our sweet girl. Both he and Dr Andrews (our surgeon) explained the procedure, we signed the consents and Em walked off to the OR hand in hand with Dr Vaughn and never looked back.  I kid you not, about 5 minutes later, Dr Andrews came out and was finished!  He said to prepare for about 15-20 minutes and it might have been 10 tops.  He said it was HUGE and that she'll finally be able to breathe out of her nose.  My poor baby hadn't been able to breathe normally for years!!!  I felt like the worst mom on the planet.  He said she'd be as good as new in a few days but she'd have a cough and runny nose for a few weeks.  He headed back to the OR while we waited to be called back to Recovery.

Hanging out, waiting to go to the OR....she dressed herself for the occasion

When we got the call to come back, the minute I opened the door, I recognized the screams.  Em was not a happy camper.  She and anesthesia don't mix too well.  She was sooooo mad that the nurse took her IV out and put tape on it instead of a bandaid.  She constantly asked us to take her "out of this place" and to take her home.  She refused to drink a thing and when it came time for vitals, you would have thought we were killing her. I think they discharged us from PACU because they couldn't handle her screams anymore!!!  So off we went on our journey home.

She got hungry and thirsty about 15 minutes later so we stopped to get her whatever she wanted.  She didn't have her tonsils removed so she didn't have a diet restriction. What did she pick? Chips and Coke. And of course her Daddy got it for her!  She ate like there was no tomorrow!  She took it easy the rest of the day but really, you wouldn't have been able to tell anything was wrong with her.

Left: leaving the surgery center
Right: about 30 minutes later, enjoying her chips

She did an amazing job and was so brave!  I'm so thankful for the amazing work her surgeons and surgical team did.  We are truly blessed to have such amazing doctors in our area!

Our road to recovery definitely doesn't end here but it's a very long and emotional one for me that's best left for another post......

My life via Instagram

I have pretty much abandoned my camera in exchange for my cell phone.  I don't really know why I haven't been taking too many pictures on my real camera.  It just seems easier to snap a quick pic on my cell.  So I've had to rely on Instagram for all of my pics.  If you follow me on Instagram, I apologize because you've seen these pics already.  If you don't follow me, you should!!!

The past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind.  Here's my recent life in pictures!!!

The kiddos spent 2 afternoons playing on the game consoles in the waiting room at the hospital.  I love the hospital I work at because they really took kids into consideration when they designed the new buildings.  My kids love coming to visit me because of these silly things!

We finally got to try on our recital costumes!!!  Despite her facial expression, she loved it!  She loved it so much that she didn't want to take it off then refused to participate in the rest of the class.  I have to keep reminding myself she's only 3!  

Even though I'm running on empty, it's nice to take a few minutes and just breathe.  This is my favorite spot on our new deck!

I don't care how blurry this pic is.  It's my favorite of all time!  I got to spend Friday morning in Em's classroom for Mother's Day Tea.  We were taking tons of pictures on my phone and then she took it from me.  When I got to work, I scrolled through my camera roll and found this gem.  I can't get enough of it!!!

Teaching Em from a young age the importance of big hats on Derby Day!!!  We might have literally just woken up but that didn't stop us from sporting our hats first thing!!!

This week was hair and make up week at the studio.  Em's big recital is in a month and she has to wear some serious makeup for it.  I've never claimed to be a girly girl.  I don't wear makeup unless it's eye shadow and mascara.  So learning to put on foundation and blush was a challenge. Oh and lets not forget about coloring her eyebrows to make them more visible on stage....what?!?  But I think she turned out pretty good!!!  I have to practice a few more times I thing to perfect the look.  

You just have to wear a hat, drink from a Derby glass and watch the most important 4 minutes of the racing season!  I just love the Kentucky Derby!!!  

This morning, Em and I woke up (it's still just me and her in the bed) and were watching Strawberry Shortcake.  Then I realized that she wasn't even in the bedroom anymore and I was still engaged in the show.  Typical mom moment right there.  And let me get one thing straight....she is an impostor !!  Strawberry Shortcake now has long pink hair and is a hipster.  She is an impostor compared to the Strawberry Shortcake I grew up with!!!  

 
I know it looks like I only have 1 kid but right now, Em is permanently attached to my hip.  I can't go anywhere without my little shadow.  Noah's starting to feel it, I think, and wonder what's going on.  Soon enough, life will get back to normal.  Or at least I'm praying it does.

She's a brave one!!!

I apologize now if this turns into a week of posts all about Em. It's what's on the forefront of my mind so I need to get it out somehow.

My daughter is so brave.  I have subjected her to doctors appointments, xrays, and blood draws and she's proved that it's all no big deal.  I have yet to explain to her what is going to happen on Friday but she knows the doctors are going to make her better.

We went to the ENT on 4/24.  We saw the nurse practioner, who was just wonderful.  She was blown away by how nasally she sounds when she talks.  Em has always had a weird, cartoony voice.  It does sound like she's always stuffed up even if she's not.  According to the ARNP, she was shocked by the way she sounds since there is no evidence of nasal drainage or anything.  She suspected that her adenoids would need to come out. She asked the normal questions like does she get sick a lot (yes...like every month) and is she hard to wake up in the mornings (yes....she's always been our late sleeper and hardest one to get moving).  We walked out of there with a prescription for xrays and a diagnosis of "Chronic Nasopharyngitis, Hypertropy of Adenoids, Other Disease Nasal Cavity/Sinuses, Obstruction/perforation, and Sleep Anpea, NOS."  Quite a few diagnoses for such a small kiddo.  We headed back to All Children's to get the scans done.  She did an amazing job.  She held still and in the same position for all of her pictures.  The tech was nice enough to show her what her head, teeth, nose, and mouth looked like on xray.  In that moment I wish I knew what I was looking at.  Give me a chest film or KUB and I can tell what's going on.  But I have no idea what is weird on a head xray so I had to wait it out like any other parent.

I got a call the next day saying that her sinus film was normal (I am still shocked by this) and that the rest showed that her adenoids were enlarged and needed to be removed (thank you Jesus!!!)  They also wanted us to get some allergy testing done just to see if that could be an issue.  I called up my in-laws who agreed to drop everything and drive her down to All Children's to get her labs drawn that day.
{Side note....I can't begin to express how thankful I am for my in-laws.  The Hubs's dad and step mom have not only given up their retirement time to watch my kids, but they routinely bend over backwards trying to help us.  They have been such a blessing to us over the past 5 years and especially right now.}

Em did such an amazing job getting her labs drawn.  She's never had blood work done before so I had no idea what to expect. When we were in the draw room, she was asking what things were and I was honest.  I said we needed to fill up tubes with her blood.  She asked to go sit in the chair and we played with some of the things.  We tested out freezy spray.  We played with the tourniquet.  I explained it needed to give her arm a tight hug.  She even wrapped it around her arm.  Then the phleb came in, who was absolutely amazing.  Em held her arm out (she has a great vein) and was super still.  I was ready to pin her arm down (nurse mode came out) but I never had to.  She sat still through the poke and only started to cry when she saw the blood.  She kept yelling "I can't stop looking at it!" I couldn't help but laugh.  It was over before we knew it and she instantly calmed down.  I am beyond impressed by her.  I bragged about it for the rest of the week at work.  You don't see a 3 year old who will hold still for labs like she did.  She is truly my brave girl.

She did yell at me later that night.  Hands on her hips, stomping her foot, telling me "This was the worst day ever!  The only way I will ever do that again is if I get a cuddle bear."  I have no idea what a cuddle bear is.  But I guess I can figure out what it is for Friday!  Nice thing about the surgery center...they'll gas her to sleep before putting in her IV.

She's definitely one tough cookie!  I think she takes after her Momma!!!  But for now, I guess I should just start calling her Merida!!!!

Ya know...from the movie Brave!!!!

  

Going under the knife

I've been alluding to some health stuff that we're dealing with for Emmy.  It's really nothing life threatening but it's surely messing with our life.  We're gearing up for surgery on Friday to remove Em's adenoids.  I really hope this will begin to solve all of her problems.

My sweet girl has always had a rough time when it comes to congestion.  She spikes really high fevers and then a few days later, she'll get congested beyond belief.  This lingers for about 2 weeks then we're fighting with her to go back to sleeping in her room by herself.  This cycle happens about every month.  I attribute most of it to preschool germs but it's progressively getting worse.  Now she's getting so congested that she becomes apneic at night (meaning she stops breathing) and then startles herself awake in order to breathe.  It's a scary thing to witness as a parent.  The panic in her face is horrible.  And there's been nothing the Hubs or I can do to prevent it.  She's been sleeping between my legs, propped up on my hips.  This has been the only way I can get her to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. She's tossing and turning all night long which means I have not gotten sleep in 5 weeks or so.  The Hubs has been sleeping in her room so at least someone is getting some sleep.  Oh and she snores.  Like a man.  If I knew how to upload a video from my phone to the blog, I would totally post it. She gives the Hubs a run for his money when it comes to snoring.  A 3 yr old should never be snoring like she is.  It's unreal.

Propped up on my stomach trying to get to sleep (with an ice pack for her pink eye)

If you read my post yesterday, you know that I have fallen off the working out wagon big time.  The extreme exhaustion has totally caught up to me.  I've adapted to functioning on no sleep and tons of coffee, which we all know is a recipe for disaster.  It's all come crashing down on me this week.  I feel my patience wearing thin.  I'm on the verge of tears all the time, not because I'm scared or emotional, just because I'm that tired.  The Hubs slept with her one night and woke up telling me he has no idea how I'm still functioning.  He was up almost all night making sure she was still breathing, much like I do.  He's been sweet enough to let me sleep in her room a few nights now just so I can try to recharge.  It's not really working but my body is thankful I am getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time.

I think it's all just starting to hit me.  On Friday, my poor girl will go under anesthesia and someone will be cutting things out of her.  This is something I've definitely asked for because it will make things so much easier for her (and for us).  But it doesn't make it less scary.  I know she'll be fine.  We have a great surgeon and she's a tough cookie.  The nurse in me knows it's no big deal.  But the mom in me is starting to freak out a little.

  

The time when I terrified my 3 year old

Who would have thought that 5 minutes of this would scare a 3 year old beyond belief?

Disney has freaked my daughter out more than anything in the entire world.

Noah has been wanting to see this for months so when I saw it available on demand, I bought it for the kiddos.  Within 2 minutes, she was thinking it was creepy.  First off, where was all the color?  Black and white did not sit well with Em. Then she was flat out scared.  So we turned it off.  No big deal.  Then the tears came.  Followed by panic attacks.  Yep. My sweet innocent little girl is having panic attacks every night and at nap time because of Frankenweenie.  This was a week ago.  7 days later, she's still petrified to go to sleep.  She cries hysterically for hours every night.  She has to fall asleep in our arms.  I can't believe this has happened.

Am I a horrible mother for even thinking this would be a cute movie for the kids?  I mean this movie is up for an Oscar.  It has to be a good one, right?

It's my fault that she's scared to go to bed.  My heart breaks every night listening to her cry.  How do I make this up to her?  How do I figure out a way to make the scary thoughts/images disappear from my sweet girl's mind?  How do I bring peace to her precious mind?

  

Momma's Girl

My poor little girl is having such a rough time right now.  I can't remember if I've mentioned this before but she's a total Momma's girl. I don't know when it happened but it has.  While being a very independent child (a little too independent if that can happen), she has this very fragile side that seems to fall apart and just need her Momma.  I don't know if it's a phase (I hope it is) because she can be like a kid on steroids.  I'm not sure if everyone gets that reference but when a kid gets diagnosed with cancer or has a bone marrow transplant, we put them on steroids for about a month or longer.  This causes the cute, innocent child to turn into (1) a complete monster or (2) an emotional wreck.  Most of the time it's a combination of the two.  Well Em has turned into an emotional girl.  She can cry at the drop of a hat.  And I mean cry. Like boo hoo wailing.  And all she wants is her Momma.  And as special as that makes me feel, sometimes it's a bit too much.

While I was away at my conference, I talked to her Thursday night (mind you I saw her Thursday morning) and she prompted to yell at me and tell me that I "had to come home right now."  I informed her that I'd be home on Saturday and off she went with her night.  Then Friday morning I get the dreaded phone call from the Hubs. All I can hear is Em cry talking.  You know what I mean...when you're crying and trying to talk at the same time and it makes absolutely no sense?  That's what I heard.  And all she wanted was me.  I told her I'd be home the next day and I asked if she wanted me to text her a picture of me.  She said yes, saw the picture, and all was right in the world.

So when I got home Saturday afternoon, you'd think she hadn't seen me in years.  I was so excited to see her and so glad that she could finally stop stressing over me not being around.  And to make it better, the Hubs took Noah to his first UF football game with his dad (it was some rite of passage thing) so I had the whole afternoon to just hang out with my girl. And I don't know who needed it more, Em or me.  We got home, snuggled up on the couch (in our matching boots and tights) and watched Alice in Wonderland.  Then it off to dinner for our very own date night.  All dressed up, looking cute, and where does she want to go?  Oh just the restaurant with the TVs, aka Buffalo Wild Wings.  Yep.  That's my daughter.  The one who wants to get all dolled up and go to a sports bar.  I just love it! My parents joined us for dinner and we had a great time.  Then it was off to Target to buy nail polish.  We got home, put on our jammies, and painted our toenails while watching TV.  Probably the most girliest thing I've done in a very long time but it was so much fun.  Em's now sporting green fingernails with confetti sparkles and ballerina pink toenails and I have hot pink/royal blue crackled toenails.

It must be hard being a 3 year old, and I'm not trying to sound sarcastic.  To not be in control of almost anything around you, to have your parents working full time, and to just want your Momma, plain and simple, has to be stressful.  My heart aches so much when she gets so upset and can't really express what's going on in that sweet head of hers.  But it's afternoons like this one that remind me that I was destined to be her Momma.  No matter how many times I wonder who thought I was mature enough to be a mother.  I wouldn't trade these moments for anything