The Worst Day of My Life

Yesterday I mentioned that Noah had a seizure and I'm still having some trouble with it.  That experience is so much more than just a quick blurb in a recap post.  I constantly relive that day over and over in my head.

It was Valentine's Day.

A few days prior, I had been talking with Emmy's Immunologist.  She was in her usual sick cycle and we were coming up with a game plan for what to do next.  We had decided that if she spiked to 101, we'd bring her in to the office and have labs drawn.  Well wouldn't you know, on the 13th, I came home from work and she was blazing hot.  I emailed her doc, who emailed the team (while in labor) with the plan and lab orders. Seeing that email and having her in the bed with me, made my world crash in on me.  I had been surviving in "nurse mode" in respect to Emmy.  I was always thinking what we could test for, what this could be.  I never let myself just be a mom because I knew I'd break down.  Well February 13th was my breaking point. I cried all night and all morning.  I brought her in and had her labs drawn.  I spent the morning crying in people's offices because I just needed to. I had finally gotten to the point where I could mention Emmy's name without tearing up and I got the call I will never forget.  My mom was calling my cell phone at 1230 in the afternoon. My heart sank and I knew something was wrong.

"Something's wrong with Noah"

That's all she said before I couldn't concentrate.  Honestly, I didn't hear anything else. I was shaking and for the first time in my life, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't move my body. Thankfully I have amazing coworkers who handled the rest of the day for me. I grabbed my stuff and headed to my car. I called my mom back and finally realized what had happened.  Noah had been unresponsive for the past 15 minutes.  I called the pediatrician just to confirm that he was supposed to head to All Children's.  I called Mom back and told her to meet me at work.  By that point I was hysterical. By the grace of God, two of the doctors I work with were walking down the sidewalk and found me. Again, I'm so blessed to work with amazing people. One of the guys went with me to the EC.  He literally walked me there.  If he hadn't seen me, I'm not sure I would have ever made it there.  He was amazing.  He spoke to the EC doc for me to give them a heads up.  He waited with me until John showed up. He texted throughout the day. He stopped by to see us before he headed home for the day.  His wife texted me that night to make sure we were doing ok.  They are just good people.

Waiting for Noah to get there felt like an eternity. My mom was withholding some details because I was not in my right mind. When they showed up, John got him out of the car and he was grey. I'll never forget the color of his skin.  He wasn't responding to us. I've never felt so scared. Our room was ready for us and the entire EC staff was in our room.  About 10 minutes later, Noah started to answer questions but he still wasn't himself. Then about 10 minutes after that, it was like a switch was thrown.  His color got better, he sat up in the bed, and he started talking. I felt a little calmer after that.

I learned that he was unresponsive and not blinking for 10 minutes.  Then he started blinking but was still unresponsive and dead weight until he got to the EC.  On the ride over, his eyes were rolling in the back of his head. From start to finish, it lasted about 50 minutes. He was a trooper through his IV start, his EEG, and MRI.  He bonded with Emily, the Child Life Specialist.  She definitely made this experience a little easier on us all.  After about 6 hours, we were able to go home.  All of his testing was negative and we were to follow up with Neurology.  Later that night I remembered that a former coworker worked as a nurse practitioner for the Neurology group.  She answered all my questions, told me what to do if it happened again and helped set me up with the best doctor we have.  She did scare me a bit and told me that children with normal MRIs and EEGs have a 30-50% chance of future seizures.  Not exactly what I expected to hear.  That statistic alone has stressed me out more than anything.  I'm constantly on edge that he's going to have another one.

After seeing the Epileptologist, he sent us to Cardiology just to rule out any cardiac reasons.  Of course, we saw the best cardiologist All Children's has to offer! His work up was negative as well, which is such a blessing.  We are due back in 2 weeks to see Neurology again.

I'm thankful that we haven't had any issues.  He's had some instances where he spaces out which scare me but we've been fortunate that we haven't had anything more than that. And I'm hopeful that we won't have to go through this ever again.  It doesn't mean that I'm not a nervous wreck though.

My world was rattled that afternoon.  I got a phone call that I never imagined I'd get. I had that moment of sheer panic. I was hysterical. Literally hysterical.  It's a feeling I never want to feel again.

My sweet boy's mohawk the next day from the goo from the EEG leads

When the body turns against you

To say that we've been unlucky in the health department is an understatement.  We have a crazy high deductible for our insurance. We usually meet our deductible by the end of the year but this year, we've already hit it.  It's only April people!  We actually hit it in March.. Can someone please throw us a bone???

We all know I get kidney stones.  I tend to get them once every 3 months.  I started off the year with a stone, no big deal. A quick trip to the ER and I was as good as new.  My newest ailment is my knee.  I finally got my butt off the couch and started running again.  I actually felt good running for the first time in my life. I was motivated and finally prepared mentally to start making running a part of my life.  But of course, my body had other plans.  A few Saturdays ago, I went to get something out of the dryer and felt the most intense burning pain I have ever felt in my life.  After hobbling along for a week, I saw the orthopedic surgeon who diagnosed me with plica syndrome.  Pretty much crazy inflammation of my plica that is controlled by either steroids or surgery.  I just finished a course of oral steroids and my knee doesn't feel any better.  I go back in a few weeks to see whether or not I get a cortisone injection or a surgery date to fix the plica.  It could also be a torn meniscus but they wouldn't know that until they get in my knee.  Either way I'm not looking forward to my next visit.

The Hubs had a pretty big scare in March.  He called me at work saying his blood pressure was like 150s/100s.  Not exactly what I wanted to hear.  He was having some chest tightness and tingling as well so I took him to the ER.  He ended up spending the night for observation since he fits the heart attack description: overweight male in his 30s, who doesn't eat well or exercise, with a ridiculous family history of heart disease.  Thankfully his work up was all negative and he was able to go home the next day.  He is on blood pressure meds, which are working pretty nicely, and he's (slowly) making some healthy lifestyle changes.

Emmy has always been a puzzle when it comes to her health.  I think I've talked about it before but she gets sick every 3 weeks like clockwork.  It's always the same too.....fevers, runny nose, cough, sore throat, and skin rashes.  We've been seeing an Immunologist since August and we've stumped her.  All of her work up has been negative but they are still concerned (as am I).  Finally I broke down and discussed her health history with one of my Bone Marrow Transplant docs who specializes in Immunodeficiencies (and who I respect and trust and who is absolutely brilliant).  She suggested we scan her sinuses and maybe it's a really bad case of chronic sinusitis.  So we did and her sinuses were packed.  We started her on 21 days of antibiotics.  I was so relieved and hopeful that this was our answer. Well sure enough, she got sick like clockwork, even on antibiotics.  Our Immunologist is out on maternity leave so we saw the nurse practitioner (who I adore) and we've stumped her as well.  Thankfully everyone is reaching out to their colleagues around the nation to see if anyone else has any ideas.  We have to come up with some answers soon because Emmy has a lot of exciting things on the horizon (stay tuned for a post on it!!!)

So that leaves Noah.  He had a seizure on Valentine's Day. Thankfully he's okay and has not had any further seizures but we don't have any answers.  We're left with a ton of "whys" which leaves me constantly on edge. It was the worst experience of my life.  There's so much emotion that I'm still feeling because of this.  I'm so thankful he's okay and that we haven't had any other issues but I feel like I'm changed because of it.  It's hard to explain.  That day is forever etched in my brain and I can't help but play it over and over in my mind. I'll explain more tomorrow.

Other than that, we're hunky-dory over in the Crimella house.  I'm impatiently awaiting the day when I can say we're all totally healthy at the same time!!!
   

I'm out from under my rock

Man....I can't believe I haven't written since the beginning of January!  That should tell you how my months have been.  I don't even know where to begin. Here's a quick run down of all the things that have happened:

~We're still dealing with Emmy being sick every 3 weeks.  We're no closer to an answer than we were in August.  Total frustration on our end
~Noah had a seizure on Valentine's Day.  Thankfully he's okay but no one could give us a reason why he had one. That was probably the worst day of my life. No lie.
~The Hubs spent the night in the hospital with high blood pressure, chest pain/tightness, and numbness and tingling.  He's fine and is on meds to control his blood pressure.
~Thankfully I've only had 1 kidney stone this year.
~Oh I did mess up my knee and might need surgery

Doesn't that sound like enough?  Well add on all of our family commitments, social commitments, dance commitments, and school commitments and you're looking at a woman who needs about 40 hours in a day rather than 24.  I found myself completely drowning in day to day life.  It's taken a long time for me to get back to feeling like myself, hence the HUGE vacay from blogging (although writing is so therapeutic for me so I probably shouldn't have abandoned it).  But I'm back, ready for a fresh start, and needing to get a lot off my chest.

I finally have a smile on my face!

Under the Knife

Man I can't believe it's been over a month since Em had surgery.  I started writing this post on May 13th (her surgery was on May 10th) and now it's June 11th.  Huge slacker over here!!!!  So let's pick up where I left off......

Everyone knows that we've been facing some challenges with Em's health.  Friday was the big day.  Em's adenoids were finally coming out and we could get back on our journey to normalcy.  I was in full on nurse mode for most of the morning.  Surgery wasn't scheduled until 1:45pm, which I was not thrilled about.  She couldn't eat after midnight but could drink clear liquids and have popsicles until 10:45am.  Well let me tell you...she woke up demanding food.  I've never felt so bad for anyone in my life.  She had no idea why she couldn't eat breakfast like any other day.  It was so bad that I made the Hubs got to Publix and buy popsicles for her.  She ate about 3 for breakfast, which she thought was pretty cool.  But then the hard part came when she couldn't have anything else.  That was the longest few hours of my life. She just cried and would get mad and not understand.  But we all stuck it out and survived!  We loaded the car and headed to Brandon to have her surgery.

Not happy to be going to surgery

Google Maps gave me the most ridiculous directions to the surgery center but we found it no problem.  She was all excited to go in and play.  We waited for her name to be called and finally we headed back to meet up with the doc and anesthesia.  Let me tell you, Dr Vaughn was awesome!  Not only was he great with Em, he was very knowledgeable and very nice on the eyes!!! I know that shouldn't make a difference but it helped.  Plus a good friend of mine used to work with him and spoke so highly of him.  I was blessed that he would be the one managing our sweet girl. Both he and Dr Andrews (our surgeon) explained the procedure, we signed the consents and Em walked off to the OR hand in hand with Dr Vaughn and never looked back.  I kid you not, about 5 minutes later, Dr Andrews came out and was finished!  He said to prepare for about 15-20 minutes and it might have been 10 tops.  He said it was HUGE and that she'll finally be able to breathe out of her nose.  My poor baby hadn't been able to breathe normally for years!!!  I felt like the worst mom on the planet.  He said she'd be as good as new in a few days but she'd have a cough and runny nose for a few weeks.  He headed back to the OR while we waited to be called back to Recovery.

Hanging out, waiting to go to the OR....she dressed herself for the occasion

When we got the call to come back, the minute I opened the door, I recognized the screams.  Em was not a happy camper.  She and anesthesia don't mix too well.  She was sooooo mad that the nurse took her IV out and put tape on it instead of a bandaid.  She constantly asked us to take her "out of this place" and to take her home.  She refused to drink a thing and when it came time for vitals, you would have thought we were killing her. I think they discharged us from PACU because they couldn't handle her screams anymore!!!  So off we went on our journey home.

She got hungry and thirsty about 15 minutes later so we stopped to get her whatever she wanted.  She didn't have her tonsils removed so she didn't have a diet restriction. What did she pick? Chips and Coke. And of course her Daddy got it for her!  She ate like there was no tomorrow!  She took it easy the rest of the day but really, you wouldn't have been able to tell anything was wrong with her.

Left: leaving the surgery center
Right: about 30 minutes later, enjoying her chips

She did an amazing job and was so brave!  I'm so thankful for the amazing work her surgeons and surgical team did.  We are truly blessed to have such amazing doctors in our area!

Our road to recovery definitely doesn't end here but it's a very long and emotional one for me that's best left for another post......

She's a brave one!!!

I apologize now if this turns into a week of posts all about Em. It's what's on the forefront of my mind so I need to get it out somehow.

My daughter is so brave.  I have subjected her to doctors appointments, xrays, and blood draws and she's proved that it's all no big deal.  I have yet to explain to her what is going to happen on Friday but she knows the doctors are going to make her better.

We went to the ENT on 4/24.  We saw the nurse practioner, who was just wonderful.  She was blown away by how nasally she sounds when she talks.  Em has always had a weird, cartoony voice.  It does sound like she's always stuffed up even if she's not.  According to the ARNP, she was shocked by the way she sounds since there is no evidence of nasal drainage or anything.  She suspected that her adenoids would need to come out. She asked the normal questions like does she get sick a lot (yes...like every month) and is she hard to wake up in the mornings (yes....she's always been our late sleeper and hardest one to get moving).  We walked out of there with a prescription for xrays and a diagnosis of "Chronic Nasopharyngitis, Hypertropy of Adenoids, Other Disease Nasal Cavity/Sinuses, Obstruction/perforation, and Sleep Anpea, NOS."  Quite a few diagnoses for such a small kiddo.  We headed back to All Children's to get the scans done.  She did an amazing job.  She held still and in the same position for all of her pictures.  The tech was nice enough to show her what her head, teeth, nose, and mouth looked like on xray.  In that moment I wish I knew what I was looking at.  Give me a chest film or KUB and I can tell what's going on.  But I have no idea what is weird on a head xray so I had to wait it out like any other parent.

I got a call the next day saying that her sinus film was normal (I am still shocked by this) and that the rest showed that her adenoids were enlarged and needed to be removed (thank you Jesus!!!)  They also wanted us to get some allergy testing done just to see if that could be an issue.  I called up my in-laws who agreed to drop everything and drive her down to All Children's to get her labs drawn that day.
{Side note....I can't begin to express how thankful I am for my in-laws.  The Hubs's dad and step mom have not only given up their retirement time to watch my kids, but they routinely bend over backwards trying to help us.  They have been such a blessing to us over the past 5 years and especially right now.}

Em did such an amazing job getting her labs drawn.  She's never had blood work done before so I had no idea what to expect. When we were in the draw room, she was asking what things were and I was honest.  I said we needed to fill up tubes with her blood.  She asked to go sit in the chair and we played with some of the things.  We tested out freezy spray.  We played with the tourniquet.  I explained it needed to give her arm a tight hug.  She even wrapped it around her arm.  Then the phleb came in, who was absolutely amazing.  Em held her arm out (she has a great vein) and was super still.  I was ready to pin her arm down (nurse mode came out) but I never had to.  She sat still through the poke and only started to cry when she saw the blood.  She kept yelling "I can't stop looking at it!" I couldn't help but laugh.  It was over before we knew it and she instantly calmed down.  I am beyond impressed by her.  I bragged about it for the rest of the week at work.  You don't see a 3 year old who will hold still for labs like she did.  She is truly my brave girl.

She did yell at me later that night.  Hands on her hips, stomping her foot, telling me "This was the worst day ever!  The only way I will ever do that again is if I get a cuddle bear."  I have no idea what a cuddle bear is.  But I guess I can figure out what it is for Friday!  Nice thing about the surgery center...they'll gas her to sleep before putting in her IV.

She's definitely one tough cookie!  I think she takes after her Momma!!!  But for now, I guess I should just start calling her Merida!!!!

Ya know...from the movie Brave!!!!

  

What Am I Doing for Mother's Day?

Mother's Day.

The one day where all of us moms get to do whatever we want and no one can complain about it.  The one day where we're celebrated because of the ridiculously hard work that goes into being a Mother.  Let's be real, it's tough being a mom.  I'm sure I'm not speaking for myself alone when I say that being a mom has been a crash course in multi-tasking. We're pulled in every direction, whether it be getting clothes ready for the day, cooking dinner, spending time with our kids (and their Daddies), driving here and there, and passing out all the love we can.  All of that happens in about 20 minutes.  It's a tough job that doesn't have an owner's manual.  It's a "learn on the fly" type of thing.

But it's the most rewarding title that I have!  I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything.  I was born to be a mom.  And boy do I love Mother's Day!  I think I worked on my first 3 or 4 Mother's Days so I've only had about 2 Mother's Days to spend doing whatever I want.  Some women want to spend the day being pampered.  Some women want to lay around doing nothing.  Some women want to spend the day exploring the world.  I'm planning on spending my Mother's Day making strides to improve my health (and I'm planning on having the Hubs and the kiddos there cheering me on).

I'm excited to be participating in the Great Mother's Day Race this Mother's Day!  I'm on this journey (a very slow one at that) to becoming a runner and becoming a healthier example to my kids.  This race is exactly what I need. It's a race that's centered around celebrating Moms and families and healthy lifestyles.  I thought about signing up the entire family for the race but decided to do this one solo.  I decided to run on my own because that's the way I want to spend part of my special day.  I want to do something that is strictly for me.  And that's what this race will be.  A couple (times about a million) minutes and 3.1 miles of "me" time.  Time with my thoughts. Time with nature. Time on my journey to becoming a runner.

I know. I know.  Enough about me.  Let's talk race details.

When: Sunday, May 12, 2013 at 9:00am. Packet pick up will start at 8am on race day at the Registration table.
Where: Al Lopez Park (4810 N Himes Ave, Tampa FL 33614)
Who: This race isn't limited to just us Moms.  Grab your family and head on down!  Strollers are welcomed so pack up the kiddos!!!!!

This year the race will be chip timed (a new addition from last year's race) with prizes for top finishers in the age divisions.  There's goodie bags and  Dri-Fit tee shirts for participants.  Snacks will be provided before and after the race with lots of water along the way.

Registration is only $35 until May 11, 2013 and $40 on race day.  To make this race a little sweeter, all Life With My Loves readers can receive 10% off registration costs by using the code TBBLOG.  How awesome is that?!?

Sign up on Active.com and don't forget to take advantage of 10% off!!!

And while you're at it, like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter!!!!

I'm excited about the opportunity to spend my Mother's Day having fun and making myself a better person (and to have my family cheering me on to the finish....hint hint Hubs!!!)  Why don't you join me?!?!?

Disclaimer: I received an comp'd entry into the Great Mother's Day Race in exchange for promoting the event.  I am not being paid to participate.  All opinions are my own. 
  

When I figured it out before the doctor did

I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing me mention my health problems.  Believe me, so am I.  I joke that I turned 30 and my body turned against me.  A small part of me was totally serious every time I said that.

Growing up, I was always getting sinus infections (well I still am) and strep throat.  I had a few injuries that required surgeries and casts. I suffered from the occasional migraine.  But as I got older, and really for the last 2 years, things have gotten horrible.  I spent a week in the hospital trying to figure out what was causing my stomach pain.  That ultimately led to my gallbladder being removed.  From that moment on, I always had some sort of GI distress.  I had never been plagued with stomach issues and let me say, I feel for anyone who has chronic stomach conditions.  It sucks for real.  Living on Zofran and Imodium is no way to live.  My migraines went from being once every 3-6 months to every week.  And my migraines debilitate me.  Like sweating, light sensitive, throwing up debilitating.

Next up....my mysterious leg pain.  I'll spare you the details.  You can read them here.  Weird burning pain from the knee down in both legs that my doctor couldn't explain.  But it went away when I was taking B12 injections.  This, along with crazy extreme fatigue made August-November unbearable for me (and probably for the Hubs).  It was in November I was blessed with my first kidney stone.  Only to be followed up 3 months later (like 2 weeks ago) with a second stone.  I walked in to my doctor's office for my ER follow up and told her there has to be something that's really wrong with me.  She didn't really have any suggestion besides start taking my B12 again and to avoid things that can cause kidney stones.  I left that office a little let down but ready to do whatever I could to prevent another God awful stone.   That's when this Instagram post changed my life.

A list of all the foods that can cause kidney stones

A friend commented on my picture saying that she got horrible kidney stones until she got diagnosed with celiac disease. Since going gluten free, she had not had another stone.  So, being the medical professional that I am,  I went straight to Google to see if there was a correlation between celiac and kidney stones.  And of course there is a correlation.  {Oh I'm leaving out an important detail...when I was in the hospital for my gallbladder, I had a colonoscopy in which the doctor did a biopsy of an area that he thought was celiac disease.  The biopsy was either inconclusive or negative.  I can't remember}

In my googling, I came across an article titled "Celiac Disease Head to Toe."  After reading it, I could not shake the idea that I had a horrible issue with gluten. Maybe I didn't exactly have celiac disease but I was convinced that me and glutens just don't mix.  Here's my list of symptoms that match:
~Migraines
~Sinus headaches
~Sinus problems
~GI problems
~Kidney stones
~Fatigue
~Peripheral neuropathy
~Easy bruising
~Vitamin D deficiency

That's well over 50%, probably closer to 75%, of all the body systems that can be affected by gluten sensitivity. Plus take into consideration the fact that a GI doc was suspicious enough for celiac disease that he biopsied an area of my intestine.  But I wasn't totally convinced until I got to the peripheral neuropathy section.  My neuropathy is only relieved by B12 supplementation.  When I read this statement from the article, I was convinced:
Peripheral neuropathy is a disorder that results in numbness, tingling, and sometimes severe nerve pain in the extremities.  Finger, hands, toes, feet, and lower legs may all be affected. Although usually associated with diabetes, peripheral neuropathy shows up fairly frequently in those with celiac disease, and is fortunately reversible on a gluten free diet supplemented by B-vitamins and some specific amino acids.

This was the best explanation I've been able to find.  The B vitamin supplementation sealed it for me.  Could this be the cause of all my ailments?  Monday couldn't come faster so I could call the doctor.  {Oh another thing I forgot...I was starting to think I was allergic to beef because I'd get violently ill within 10 minutes of eating it.  But after coming up with gluten intolerance, it occurred to the Hubs that I never eat beef alone. It's always with bread or pasta. So it probably wasn't the meat at all}

I did an experiment Sunday night and did not eat any glutens through dinner.  I felt amazing.  Then I had an oreo cheesecake truffle.  Within 10 minutes of eating it, my stomach was in knots.  It had to be the wheat in the cookie.  I was then convinced.

I called my doctor Monday morning and she agreed that I must have a horrible gluten sensitivity.  She didn't feel like I needed to be tested for celiac disease since I had been biopsied before (still not sure how I feel about that) but she told me to go gluten free for 2 weeks.  She said I'd feel better instantly if it was from the glutens.  It was a challenge that I was willing and eager to accept.

Then the anxiety kicked in.  I probably over-googled but I became overwhelmed with eliminating glutens.  I might have thrown a pity party for myself Monday night, tears and all.  But I've done it. Tuesday will be an entire week of being gluten free.  Not only am I feeling great, it's so nice not to spend most of my time in the bathroom (sorry if that was TMI).  I have great energy.  I'm still tired but that's because I haven't been sleeping well, not because I was just waking up exhausted regardless of the number of hours I slept.  I haven't had a headache in 2 weeks but I did just get my contacts adjusted.  And I'm not missing wheat as much as I thought I would.  I'm still trying to navigate my way through my pantry and the grocery store.  I'm still adjusting to the sticker shock too.

But I feel good.  And that's all that matters.
  

Life Lately

I feel like so much is going on in my life and I haven't really had time to figure it all out.  Once again, health problems have popped up in our household.  Between the constant (drastic) weather changes, school germs, and the overall crud that's floating around, both kids can't seem to shake the runny noses.  It's even got Noah's asthma acting up.  I had to rush to the pediatrician this week after I got home from work because he sounded like he had croup.  Thank goodness he's 6 because our doc told me that he'd be in the hospital for croup if he was younger.  But since he's older, his airway is bigger and stronger.  So instead, I get to listen to a barky cough and do albuterol every 4 hours.  I guess being a pediatric nurse is okay in this instance because I'm not overwhelmed by the constant nursing stuff I have to provide to my kiddo, instead of just Mommy lovin.  I guess I'm getting a small glimpse of what my parents went through with my brother and his asthma.  I just pray we don't ever have to go to the hospital like they did.

Em is still having issues with sleep.  She can be happy as a clam and the moment you mention sleep, she's a hysterical panic attack.  She fights sleep harder than I've ever seen.  She cries like you're abandoning her when you leave her room.  Something's definitely going on because she's never had such separation issues.  Maybe it's a phase but it's so bad.  She will be sound asleep and I go to leave and she'll wake up.  I just don't know what to do.  Bad Mom Alert but I even gave her Benadryl last night to see if that would help. And it didn't really. All it did was make her "feel funny."  The Hubs and I are truly at our wits end with this.  I'm having a hard time balancing being supportive during her obvious crisis and being patient.  I hate to truly punish her for the craziness because I know she's really afraid of something but the behavior is becoming a huge problem and is on the verge of becoming out of control.

And then there's me.  I had escaped the flu for an entire month and then it hit me last weekend.  And if that wasn't enough, I got another kidney stone on Tuesday.  While I'm attributing it to my kidneys being jealous of Amber's, it came out of nowhere.  I was trying to recover (and planning on finally going back to work on Wednesday) and around noon, I got the pain.  I didn't believe that I was having another one since I had just had one 3 months ago.  How could that be possible?  But lo and behold, the pain migrated down my back and took residence in my right lower flank. I labored at home for a few hours. {Yes I said labored.  It 100%, without a doubt, feels like labor pain.  I've pushed out 2 babies naturally so I consider myself an expert on labor pains.  This is like one sided labor pain.  So if you want to figure out if you can handle labor, stop hydrating yourself for a while and get yourself a kidney stone.}  So after 6 hours in the ER, I got to come home all doped up and spend another day at home.  I'm still not sure I've passed it yet but the pain is getting more and more tolerable (and this is almost 5 days later).  I'm trying to figure out why I could be getting kidney stones all of a sudden.  My PCP wants me to make some serious diet changes, which is good but challenging, and wants me to go back on my B12 injections.  I've done some research (aka Googling) and I think I have a possible diagnosis that would explain every single ailment that I've been experiencing over the past 1.5 years but I don't want to go into it until I talk to my doctor tomorrow.  If I'm right, it will mean serious changes in my life but I will do anything in order to finally feel better.

I have to thank the Hubs for everything he's done for me this week.  He let me get much needed sleep last weekend (I pretty much slept for 24 hours straight) and then being so supportive in the ER.  It drives him nuts that I avoid going to the doctor at all costs but I appreciate having a partner in life who wants nothing but the best for me. He also is ready to face a possible diagnosis head on and wants to be as supportive as he can.  I really did luck out in the partner/husband/best friend department with this one.  I love you!!!!

Get out of my belly!!!

First off, thanks to everyone who's checked in on me or have been saying prayers for me this past week.  Facebook and Twitter have been so loving!  I really do have amazing friends.  Thanks!!!

I started with some abdominal pain last Sunday (right upper quadrant pain for all my RN/MD buddies).  I couldn't keep anything down and I was pretty much miserable. Went to my PCP on Monday who said it could be a handful of things: Kidney stone vs duodenal ulcer vs obstructed bile duct.  We did some labs and she ordered a CT scan for the next day.  The pain was very similar to the pain that landed me in the hospital for 6 days last year.  Drank all of my contrast (against my will) and had my CT on Tuesday.

definitely did not taste like a banana smoothie

Still in pain but went back to work on Wednesday and Thursday.  By Thursday afternoon, my pain flipped from abdominal pain to right lower flank pain.  This and the fact that I had calcium oxalate crystals on my UA led me to believe this was definitely kidney stones.  Everyone at work thought so too.  I tried my hardest to stay out of the ER but I couldn't help it.  I truly felt like I was in labor again.  it was horrible.  My IV was started, labs drawn, CT repeated (we still had not received the results from the scan on Tuesday), fluids, Zofran, and Dilaudid given.  I was starting to feel a little better.

The man who put this in (on the 2nd attempt) meant business....most painful IV start EVER!!!!

The MD comes in and says I have a 2mm stone that looked like it was almost in my bladder.  That wicked horrible pain was me passing it.  She thought that I could go home and manage it myself since it was in the bladder.  Well let me tell you....this lil bugger doesn't want to come out.  Or if it has, it has friends still in my kidney.  I'm so uncomfortable.  I'm still having flank pain that takes my breath away.  My pain meds only work for about 30 minutes.  Then they just make me feel crappy. So I'm trying not to take them but I'm miserable in the process.  I've drank so much water in the past 72 hours is crazy!  I think I've consumed close to 10-12 liters of fluid by now.

Noah's been trying to understand what's happening to Momma and it's kinda funny.  He just can't seem to wrap his head around the fact that I have a rock inside me.  That's just too weird for him.  No matter how much I try to break it down for him, he's just not getting it.  Gotta love the mind of a child!

Anyone who has ever had kidney stones, I never understood how horrible they are until now.  This is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I really think we need to take a stand and try to support Kidney Stone Research (if there is such a thing) to get rid of these things forever!  Who's with me? 

What's going on with me?

As you may or may not have noticed, I've been incredibly absent from the blog world (and the Twitter world too).  It's not because I've lost my voice or have run out of topics.  I have a list about 10 topics long that I want to post here.  I just haven't been able to.  I've been too exhausted.  Too exhausted to do pretty much anything.

It all started in August.  I started having horrible leg pain.  Both legs hurt from the knee down.  All the time.  I didn't tell anyone about it for like 3 weeks.  Then is started hurting in my hips.  And this wasn't muscle pain.  It's what I think bone pain would feel like.  I can't put into words what exactly it feels like.  The best I can do is call it a constant, burning, pain.  Nothing helps relieve the pain either.  Once my hips started hurting, I finally told the Hubs.  Now I have a pretty high pain tolerance so when I was crying every night from the pain, the Hubs knew I was seriously hurting. I was also dealing with extreme fatigue.  I would fall asleep at like 6:45 and sleep until 6:30 the next morning and wake up feeling like I didn't get any sleep.  Even Noah asked if I was feeling ok because I was going to bed before him.  I ended up getting in to my doctor's office (after a few days of trying to get an appointment) and my journey started.

The only thing she could come up with was that I was having some sort of neuropathic pain.  She was convinced there was something with my back (which didn't hurt....at all).  But instead of jumping right to CTs or MRIs, we ran labs for anything possible.  Differential diagnoses included Lupus and RA.  We even tested for syphilis, which I'm proud to report I do not have.  The plan was to see if there was something chemically abnormal before looking for another cause.  I was going to have to wait a week for the results, which I had myself convinced that the labs would come back positive for syphilis (that's my luck). {side note....I have never had any sign or symptom of this disease.  I just figured, in my Debbie Downer mentality, that I would end up with something like that} It was one of the longest weeks of my life.  So on Day 7, I was calling the office to see if the labs were back.  They said they were on the Dr's desk, which made me freak out even more.  So I waited hours for a return call.

That call came in the middle of car line and when I answered, it was my doctor on the other line.  I instantly panicked because this meant something was definitely wrong.  She calmed me down right away telling me she knew it would be easier to talk to me herself.  I just love her!  She knows how crazy I am and takes the time to take care of her patients.  She's a keeper!   She told me that everything came back good.  No lupus, no RA, no syphilis.  She did say that my Vitamin D level was low and that my Vitamin B12 level was on the lower side of normal.  We talked about my symptoms again, along with the fact that I am totally exhausted all the time.  We determined that I needed to take daily Vitamin D.  She said she could send me to a neurologist but they would probably treat my Vit B12 level first.  She said I could take it orally for 6 weeks or I could start injections.  I asked how quickly I'd start feeling relief with each route and she said she's had patients feel better after 1 injection of B12 so that's the road I chose.  I went in that afternoon for my first of 3 shots, 2 weeks apart, and fell in love with how great I felt afterward.

I was skeptical at first to admit I felt better after the B12.  I didn't want my head to be making me feel better just because I had a shot.  But let me tell you, I felt great.  I had 5 pain free weeks. I was a believer.  But, BAM, just like that, my pains came back with a vengeance.  This was last week.  I was due for labs to test my levels this past Wednesday.  I went in a felt miserable so I ended up seeing another doctor in the practice.  Poor guy had to quickly catch up to speed with my history and what I've been going through. After scolding me for not taking my Vit D (I'm a horrible pill taker, as in I can never remember to take them), he tried to figure out what's causing this.  He did a fancy little test of the sensation of my legs, noticed something a little funny, and then mentioned I'm mildly positive for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  My EBV should a past infection, which I have known was positive for years.  We just figured I had Mono or something one time I was sick.  But maybe not.  I said I knew my EBV was positive and he asked if I got run down easily.  Well hello....I'm the poster child for getting run down easily.  I've been like that all my life.  I get physically sick and end up feeling like I have the flu.  He said that is part of CFS.  We didn't stick around on the topic for too long.  We decided to do weekly injections for a month and to recheck levels, including a Vit D, after that 4th week.

I googled CFS and noticed the CDC listed it on their website.  I thought it was just one of those drug company disorders but I guess it's real since it's on the CDC.  After reading about it, it sounds like me.  I've had the blood pressure issues and everything.  I am not, however, diagnosing myself with this syndrome.  However it does explain a lot of things that I've endured over the years.  It's just something I'm going to keep in the back of my mind.

My B12 level didn't increase all that much.  It went from 301 to 421.  Nothing impressive. So I'm gearing up for my first weekly injection on Wednesday, courtesy of one of my fabulous coworkers.  I've been taking my Vit D every night.  I've even written a note to myself on my bathroom mirror as a reminder.

I'm just over the pain.  I am willing to do whatever I need to do to feel better because this is truly wearing on me.  I know I'm strong but this is nothing I've ever been through in my life.  I am in awe of all the people who deal with chronic pain on a regular basis.  It really does take a toll on your whole self.  It's tough, let me tell you.  I'm sick of always being tired.  I'm sick of my legs constantly burning in pain.  I'm sick of what it's doing to my life. I'm sick of not feeling like myself.

    

When the nurse wears the hospital gown

I could win the crown for most obnoxious/paranoid mother in the world.  My pediatrician loves me because I pay him a lot of money but hates me because I am a pediatric nurse so I worry about everything.  But when it comes to me, I usually don't follow any medical advice I've ever received or read.  I am the worst patient ever.  Like today for example.  I've been having horrible heartburn/epigastric pain for a week or two now.  Do you think that motivates me to see my doctor and get my Protonix refilled?  Absolutely not.  Do you think it even gets me off my butt to get the Protonix that's in my medicine cabinet?  Definitely not.  I'm a glutton for punishment.  The Hubs gets so mad at me for this.  But I have to thank him for dragging me to the ER last year, practically kicking and screaming because I ended up admitted for 6 days, scanned/scoped almost from head to toe, with a trip to the OR mixed in.

This is a long one....sorry!

It was almost exactly a year ago, the last week of August to be exact, on a Monday.  I had been feeling kinda crappy.  I was having horrible stomach pains that were coming in waves. I couldn't keep anything down.  I just felt like garbage.  I had called out of work, even though I didn't want to and I felt bad doing so (I think someone had called out right before me).  I would call the Hubs pretty much crying because I hurt so much but that wasn't enough to make me go to the ER.  I finally called my doctor to see if I could come in.  I go to a doctor who I absolutely adore but they try their best to keep infectious stuff out of the office.  There's tons of old people that go there. So my doctor ended up calling me back to go over my symptoms.  It was either my gallbladder (my guess) or a wicked stomach virus which meant I had more fun to look forward to.  We decided that if the pain got worse or if I couldn't keep anything down after 4 hours of being NPO (nothing by mouth), that I'd have to head to the ER to get checked out.  So I managed about 30 minutes longer before the Hubs came home from work and brought me right to the ER.  We went to the local ER only because if I got admitted, I wanted my doctor to be my attending. {Side note.....I worked at this hospital when I was in nursing school.  I pretty much despise it and really try to avoid going there at all costs.  But I love my doc so I went there.  Plus she promised me that she'd consult the good surgeons for me if it turned out to be my gallbladder}  I get to the ER puking my brains out, with a mild temp, and a doctor who says it's definitely my gallbladder.  I get introduced to the lovely creation known as Dilaudid and we threw in a little Zofran for good measures.  But guess what???  My US shows that it's not my gallbladder.  So the doc admits me overnight to figure out where my pain is coming from.

Overnight turned into 5 more days. I was pretty much living on IV fluids, Dilaudid, and Zofran for that entire week. I had the lovely opportunity to drink a gallon of disgusting contrast for my CT scan.  I even bribed my nurse to let me stop.  I now understand why our patients put up such a fight to drink the contrast.  It's HORRIBLE.  My CT was normal.  I met my surgeon who is the most amazing surgeon in the world.  He was convinced it was my gallbladder but obviously had to rule everything out first.  I had a HIDA scan that showed my gallbladder wasn't functioning properly but it wasn't working poorly enough to take it out just yet.  I met a crazy GI doctor who wanted to see my entire insides from top to bottom.  I got to test out the effectiveness of Mag Citrate (it doesn't work for me) and the always pleasurable bowel prep for a colonoscopy.  All to come back just fine.  Well my EGD did show that I have GERD/gastritis but we already knew that. So on Thursday afternoon, my surgeon decided he would take me to the OR the next day to see if he could find anything.  But regardless of what he found, I was going to wake up without a gallbladder. So I woke up Friday, so excited at the potential of getting out of the hospital, just to sit and wait. All. Day. Long. Finally, and this is why my surgeon is the most amazing man ever, after eating dinner with his family and tucking his kids into bed, he came back to the hospital and took me to the OR.  At 9:45 at night.  It was unbelievable.  This man went above and beyond for me, because he knew that I'd been in the hospital for so long, accomplishing nothing, and would be there through the weekend if I didn't have surgery on that day.  So into the OR I went and I got discharged by 10am the next morning.  Without my gallbladder.  Which we later learned actually had multiple stones in it.  I guess they were invisible stones since they didn't show up on ANY scan I had.  Oh well.  It was out.  I was discharged.  And I was happy.

During my hospital stay I went through 5 IVs.  I turned into a crazed druggie when I was in pain and my nurse wouldn't give me pain meds because my blood pressure was too low.  {In retrospect, 80s/50s wasn't the best time to give someone Dilaudid but in that moment, I did threaten to make her night a living hell if she didn't give it to me.  Ironically enough I didn't see her the rest of the night after that Dilaudid dose}  I discovered I am allergic to Cipro, even if my nurse thought my IV was just blowing {hello you don't break out in hives and start itching when your IV blows.  It's an allergic reaction, friend.} I can testify that Versed really does make you not remember a damn thing, no matter how hard you try to remember. I also learned a valuable lesson that sending work emails while on Dilaudid is not the best idea. {yes I really did that} I hung over the bucket, dry heaving my brains out, every time I got Dilaudid and for about 15 minutes after but endured it because Dilaudid was the only thing that made me feel better.  I was the perfect patient to have in the nurse's assignment because I was NPO, could take care of myself, only called out for pain meds and zofran, only had IV fluids running and only 1 medication (at night).  I was the dream patient to have.

Being on the other side of the bed was definitely eye opening.  I had amazing nurses who took time out of their day just to talk to me.  It meant the world to me because I was alone most of the time and separated from my kids and my husband.  I looked forward to my nightly visits from my family but it was so painful to see them leave.  I had amazing friends who would visit or call/text/email to check on me.  But it was this week that I spent in the hospital that made me realize the impact that I might have on my patients.  If they could make me feel this much better while I was in the hospital, for something as little as a gallbladder flare, then maybe I do that for our families who are dealing with a more horrible diagnosis.  I wrote about this more eloquently here, right before I was discharged.  It truly touches on the up/down side to being the one stuck in the bed and having a complete understanding of why things are playing out like they did.  The Hubs was so frustrated through the entire experience, as was I, but I was the one who got it.  I knew why they couldn't just go digging in my stomach without ruling everything out first.  You should definitely read that post.
And if you want to read any of the crazy I wrote while on pain meds (it's actually not as bad as I say but I did update every day while doped up) read it here, here, and here.

What a week....

Things have been so crazy for me right now.  Monday we got a call saying my grandmother, who had been in the hospital, was being transferred to ICU and was put on a ventilator.  So we all rushed up there (my grandparents live 2 hours away) to learn that they had to do CPR to bring her back and that her lungs filled up with fluid.  Being in a situation like that is so hard for me because it's instinct to jump right into nursing mode the minute I walk on to an inpatient unit rather than being a scared, nervous family member.  Maybe it's a coping strategy.  I don't really know.  But needless to say, it's been a rough week.  I am excited to say that she was extubated on Tuesday and doing pretty good.  She still has some fluid in her lungs but her heart seems to be hanging in there.

So if you don't mind, can you keep my grandma and my family in your prayers, especially as Christmas draws near?  It would really mean the world to me.



This Christmas season I have really experienced how amazing the Blogging Community is.  Whether it be through Christmas card exchanges, ornament swaps, or just amazing sweet comments, I really feel a part of this crazy world of blogging.  I received the best Christmas cards from my amazing card swap girlies (and I hope they feel the same way!!!).

I also got paired with a pretty awesome chica named Ashley for our Ornament Swap.  She is super cute and just ran a half marathon (I still say you should come to St Pete and run with me!!!)

How cute is she???  And check out that scenery...jealous!!!

She sent me the best ornaments.  Much like me, she couldn't decide on just 1.  I got 3!!!  (I sent her 3 ornaments too!)  They will be a great addition to my ornament collection and I'm so excited to always have something to remind me of Ashley for years to come.

Can you see me?!?!

I love the colors, the sparkle factor, all of it!!!  Thank you so much Ashley for sending me amazing ornaments!!!  I absolutely adore them!!!

Now that I'm looking at only 3ish hours of sleep before getting up for work (and after making 17 containers of Peppermint Sugar Scrub), it's time to hit the sack.
Happy Friday everyone!!!!

It's OK

Today has been such a great day!  My clinic was so much smoother than I expected.  I got out of work 1.5 hours earlier than I thought I would.  I got to see some of my favorite patients.  And I got to spend the evening with my family.  What could be better than that?!?!  Well sleeping for 3 days straight might be a little better but that's never going to happen ;)

This whole daylight savings time stuff is really messing with me.  I do NOT enjoy waking up and it being bright as day out and I definitely DO NOT like driving home in the dark.  I enjoy walking out of clinic and it still be light out.  Now I feel like I'm running late all the time and that I'm staying at work too long since it's dark out.  I will say though, I'm feeling better every morning.  I'm not as tired.  I don't know if it has to do with the fact that I'm out in the sunshine so early in the morning or if it's because I'm just crazy and have tricked myself into thinking I'm feeling better.  Either way, I'm functioning a lot better on less sleep now that its bright out.  We'll see how long this lasts.

It's Thursday so it's time for "It's OK" Thursdays with Amber and Neely.


It's OK.....
~to be craving a Peppermint Mocha (all day, every day).  I'm counting down the minutes until I hit up my Starbucks in the AM and they hand me happiness in a red cup
~to have entertained the idea of staying home from work today just so I could attend the grand opening of H&M at International Plaza.  I went to work like a good girl but really wish I was at the mall
~to tell my kids that it's not "awake time" unless the sun is completely up and shining (read: Mommy gets a few extra minutes of sleep).  This is where daylight savings time is screwing me over
~to be taking advantage of every free print code I can find for pictures
~to be in dire need for holiday scrub tops
~to be lusting over these beauties.  I think my feet/legs would look stellar in these boots!
~to be a grown adult and be just as excited for the newest Twilight movie as any other crazy, obsessed adolescent girl
~to be very worried about my grandmother.  She fell and broke her shoulder (like it's not really attached or something)

About my grandmother...She has horrible cardiac health and her kidneys don't function at 100%.  She should have had open heart surgery a few months ago but she decided not to the day before surgery.  She is a horrible surgical candidate but needs to have a shoulder replacement just to improve the quality of her life.  She's in a terrible amount of pain and is on tons of pain medications.  My grandpa is going nuts over her condition and being in the hospital (he just had a hip replacement after falling and isn't doing well either).  She (and my grandpa, Mom, aunt, and uncle) have to come to some decisions about her plan of care tomorrow. Any prayers you can spare for my grandma, our family, and the physicians/nurses involved in her care, would be greatly appreciated.  It's been a very rough few months for my family.  We've already lost my grandpa. I can't imagine going through that experience again with my other grandparents.  

Hope everyone has a great Veteran's Day Friday!

Home and Loving it!!!!

First things first....thanks for all the well wishes.  I am excited to share that I am finally at home and gallbladder free!!!  After waiting all day on Friday (I mean literally all day), I was whisked away to the OR at 9:45pm to have my surgery.  My surgeon was nice enough to come back to the hospital, after having dinner with his family and tucking his kids into bed, to do my surgery so I could finally go home.  He went in to do some exploration to see if anything besides the gallbladder could be the culprit of my pain but all he found was my gallbladder.  I guess a layer of stomach fat had adhered to my gallbladder.  He told the Hubs that this sometimes happens after pregnancies (plus I'm fat too so I guess I was at double risk).  So regardless of my perfectly functioning gallbladder, the layer of fat was irritating it.  So he was nice enough to take it out.  I was discharged on Saturday morning and have been home since.  Today I feel more like a human.  I took a shower and can function a little better.  Sitting straight up in the chair while I type this is a little uncomfortable but I figure a little discomfort is worth it to thank all of you for your prayers!!!  This was quite the experience and my entire family is trying to get back into the swing of things (and I'm trying to get back into the swing of eating. After not eating for a week, it's kinda rough starting to eat again).

Here are the pics I've been trying to upload all week:

Some of my Get Well Goodies (a monkey balloon is missing because Noah took it home one night)

The kiddos having dinner at Mommy's home away from home.  Notice how comfy Emmy made herself

Me, looking like a hot mess, smiling because I've just had pain meds!!!

I will spare you all from seeing my actual stomach.  It's quite the sight.  But if anyone has a good technique to get all the betadine off, I'd love to hear it.  You'd think being a nurse I'd have a good solution but I've always told my patients that it just wears off (which it does) but that answer isn't flying with me since it's my belly that's yellow. 

Another exciting thing yesterday....my friend Jen had her baby!!!  Colton Alexander was born at 5:14pm and is absolutely adorable!!!  I cannot wait to meet him.  I find myself just staring at his cute little face!  I cried when she sent me his picture.  I am so proud of Jen and so happy for her to finally experience motherhood.  She is going to be the best Momma!!!

And to top off the most exciting day ever....my USF Bulls beat Notre Dame!!!  I have never been so proud to be a Bull.  The game wasn't the greatest but they capitalized on ND mistakes, BJ Daniels looked pretty good with his passing game, and they stuck it out through 2 weather delays to hang on and knock off the #16 team in the nation.  You know I was cheering as much as I could!  I even threw on my USF dress over my sweatpants just to be festive for the game! 

Me and the bestie in our USF gear for a game last year

S-O-U-T-H-F-L-O-R-I-D-A
SOUTH FLORIDA
SOUTH FLORIDA
GOOOOOO BULLS!!!!!!

I'm still here

Just wanted to pop in and say hey!  I'm still in the hospital but there's finally a light at the end of the tunnel.  After having so many tests and procedures (even a colonoscopy at the ripe old age of 29) I'm finally getting my gallbladder taken out tomorrow!!!  I don't know what time but all I know, my pain and nausea is finally going to be coming to an end.  This has been quite the experience, let me tell you.

Being stuck here for 5 days, away from my family, kids, and friends, has been pretty rough.  I'm hanging in there as best as I can.  I miss my kids so badly.  I look forward to 6:30 every night because I know I'll be getting my daily visit.  Just seeing them instantly takes my pain away.  Saying goodbye to them is so much harder on me than it is for them.  Thats been a hard thing to deal with.  Not seeing the Hubs is hard too, although its harder on him right now.  Poor guy can't sleep while I'm here.  I'm not sleeping either but at least I have drugs that help me fall asleep.  I miss just hanging out with him, even if he does drive me totally INSANE whenever I'm sick or in the hospital. I love you baby!

It's also been frustrating to understand why everything has played out the way it is.  We've all known all along that my pain has been from my gallbladder however, my gallbladder has decided to make things difficult.  All my testing have been completely negative.  So by exam and clinical presentation, I need it out.  But my imaging, there's no reason why it has to come out.  That is why I'm still here.  I've had every GI test I could have to rule every other reason out for my pain.  I don't have ulcers.  I don't have ulcerative colitis, crohns, diverticulitis, etc.  So thankfully, I have a great surgeon who is finally ready to take it out.  But that's not why its frustrating.  Its frustrating to completely understand the thought process behind this ordeal.  I get that a surgeon cannot go and cut open a patient without concrete evidence of a cause.  I totally understand that.  There's a lot of things I do in my nursing career that's based on a gut feeling but none of those things involve cutting a patient open and removing an organ.  This is the time that I wish I didn't have a medical background.  I wish I could just be mad and frustrated that I've been in here for almost 5 days, having test after test, just watching the bill increase and increase.  But I can't.  Yes I can be frustrated (and I am) but I get it.

More importantly, I have learned so much about myself as a nurse from being in the hospital.  I've been in the hospital before since becoming a nurse but never for this long.  I have been fortunate enough to have had amazing nurses (minus one) while being here. Without their excitement, personality, and genuine interest in my care, I would be a horrible mess.  These girls (and guy) take time out to really talk to me and see how I'm doing.  I have had the best nurse the past 2 nights.  She's pretty much a younger version of me.  Loud, outgoing, fun.  I just love her!  She even got in trouble last night because we were talking to loud.  We were just having a great time talking about random things (we've worked at the same hospitals, she applied to 7S a few months ago...didn't get the job, which was a HORRIBLE decision.  She would have been such an asset to 7S).  It's just been fun.  The fact that they are taking time out of their busy shifts to make sure I feel at home and comfortable has meant the world to me.  It's also made me realize how much of an impact I might have in my patient/family's experience.  Taking the extra time to pop in to see them, to spend the time getting to know them, and just giving them the opportunity to talk to someone, really does make a hospital experience a little easier.  It makes me feel good that the way I'm feeling right now as a patient is the way I could be making my patients feel.  Never in a million years did I think I'd get this much personal growth/discovery from this situation. 

Thank you to all the amazing people at Largo Medical Center.  Thanks for putting up with my crazy.  Thanks for dealing with all my visitors.  Thanks for making it feel a little less stressful for me. 

I took a pic on my phone that I was going to post here of me in my hospital bed but my email app doesn't want to work since my email got hacked 2 weeks ago.  So lucky for you guys, you don't have to see my hot mess self!!!

Wish me luck tomorrow!  I can't wait to be organ-less!!!

So here's a more accurate update

I'm just realizing that I wrote a post about being in the hospital.  I've learned a few times today that I shouldn't work on the computer right after getting pain meds.  Not the best situation.  So here's whats really going on.  On Sunday afternoon I started vomitting and having horrible stomach cramping.  This continued to yesterday with the pain getting horribly worse.  My MD told me I should go to the ER if the pain got too horrible. The Hubs decided to take me anyways.  So I showed up to the ER, got right in, and was hooked up to an IV in a matter of minutes. Both my MD and the ER doc thought it was my gallbladder.  My gallbladder ultrasound showed a perfectly normal gallbladder so my doctor was a little confused.  He admitted me for observation, pain management and antibiotics for an incidental UTI.  They also ordered a CT scan and a surgical consult.  The surgeon met us up in the room and based on his exam, he felt it was gallbladder but needed imaging to back it up.  So off to CT I went (after drinking horrible contrast) and then I had a HIDA scan this morning.  That scan tests the gallbladder specifically.  My results weren't good but not bad enough to take my gallbladder out.  So he wanted to consult GI to see if they wanted to rule anything out before surgery.  So what does GI decide????  EGD (upper GI scope) tomorrow and possibly a colonoscopy on Thursday....I'm never leaving the hospital and never getting my gallbladder out :(

So I'm ready to wind down for the night, get some meds, and get ready for my day tomorrow. 

Thanks Nicole and Whitney for visiting me today and showing me my escape route!!!
 

Coming to you, live from my hospital bed

Yes, you read that right.  I'm hanging out in my hospital bed.  I got admitted yesterday because I was having severe abdominal pain and vomitting.  We're leaning towards my gallbladder being the culprit but we're not 100%.  I'm hoping that by this afternoon, I'll be gallbladder-less. 

So in the meantime, can you send a few prayers my way, not only for me but for all the doctors working on my case?  They are all working hard to figure out what is going on and how to make me comfortable.  I greatly appreciate it!  Also can you say a few prayers for my kiddos who really don't understand why Mommy can't come home and why Mommy has tubes hooked up to her arm?

Brought to you by the makers of Dilaudid....the pain medication keeping me sane yet making me loopy all at the same time!

Because I'm a Lazy Blogger

The Hubs told me today that I'm a lazy blogger since I haven't updated in a while.  Good to know he looks forward to my updates!!!  This week starts a 5 day work week for me.  This should be interesting. I left a job that only required me to work 3 days a week and moved to a job that is 4 days a week.  This has been quite an adjustment (proof is in the sinus infection I'm brewing).  But one of my coworkers is on vacation this week so I am working all 5 days.  I'm going to be delirious by Thursday.  Wish me luck and say a few prayers for the girls who have to work with me all week. 

Besides my schedule, there's a lot to discuss this week....Painting with a Twist, Rays game and Darius Rucker, the Hubs upcoming birthday, My Style Monday (with a twist) and a "get to know you" kind of post.  Hopefully I can find the time to get on here this week.

Have a great week!!!

Hopping Bunnies and Jiggle Time

I'm going to link up with Lindsey and Rachel this week even though I was really bad and didn't even weigh myself.  I ate horribly, drank way too much soda, and all in all, feel pretty horrible.  I can't wait for the weekend because I plan on getting some good runs in (in hopes that it will kick start my training) and I hope to get some much needed sleep.  I am very aware of my throat so I really hope that I'm not going to get sick.

But even though I really didn't participate much this week, I still have goals for next week.  I intend to stop drinking all the soda.  I don't really know why I started drinking so much.  Even the Hubs noticed I was drinking more soda than I usually do.  I'm drinking a ton more water since I can have it readily available at work.  I'm also going to pass up on the trips to Dairy Queen.  A DQ opened right around the corner and I may have had a Blizzard (or two) this week.  Have you ever looked at the Nutritional Guide for Blizzards?  If you haven't, don't.  It's just scary.  I even got one with fruit in it, instead of cookies/chocolate and it was still ENOROMOUSLY bad for me.  But it tasted good at the time.  I also plan on running.  I mean it this time.  I need to get my booty in gear.  Anyone have any good motivation for me?  I just can't seem to get into it right now. I need to get focused on a lot of things in my life right now.

We've had a ton go on over the last week or two.  I'll start updating on that soon.  But I'll leave you tonight with some pics from Noah's Spring Performance.  He was the cutest sleuthing bunny ever!


Noah's in the blue shirt and khaki pants



Looking for the Easter Eggs

He really got into it

Watching her big brother

I'm going to try to get on here this weekend but if I don't, Happy Mother's Day to all the Mama's out there!!!
 

Jumping back on the wagon

Hi.  I'm Jessica and I'm a yo-yo dieter.  There.  I've said it. I have had a problem with weight ever since I can remember.  I've done Weight Watchers with much success many times.  Most recently, I've lost 25lbs (only to gain about 10 back) and it's time to get back on the wagon.  I'm not loving where I am right now and I know I'll feel a lot better once I start my weight loss journey again.  And I need to start exercising again.  I do Zumba occasionally and run way less than I should.  But this Weight Loss Challenge over at Running Backwards in High Heels is a nice way to get a jump start.

My goals are to lose another 30lbs, maybe even 40 since I've gained some of the weight back that I lost earlier.  I'm done having kids, since I have the most amazing 2 children in the world, so there's nothing holding me back.  I also want to become a runner.  I've done 2 half marathons (Disney Princess Half Marathon in 2010 and 2011) and I've done a 5K with another one in 3 days.  I've never been a runner and I don't really like it.  But it makes me feel so much better once I've done it.  There's something empowering about proving yourself wrong.  I never thought I could run and I did.  I have medals hanging on my mirror showing me every day that I can do it.  Now I just need to commit to it.  Once everyone in my house gets healthy again (the plague has struck our home), I'm getting back in the swing of things with running. 

Here are just a couple of various pictures of me through my weight loss journey this year.  And I am very embarrassed by the older, heavier pictures but why not put it out there and be vulnerable.

After finishing my first Disney Princess Half Marathon 2010...yes I ran in the tutu

This picture was a wake up call.  I can't believe how big I look.  March 2010

It's a bad pic but my arms look so thin after 3 months of WW.  August 2010

Looking and feeling great for Dannie's wedding.  October 2010

Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party 2010

Christmas Party with my favorite girls from work. December 2010



After finishing our second Disney Princess Half Marathon 2011

It's so dramatic to see how much I've changed in a year but I know I can be so much more.  I look forward to losing more weight and finding more of the real me.