I survived!!!

I survived my last day of work.  I was determined to make it through the day without crying but that was ruined at 6:45 AM....yes....AM.  Two of my dear coworkers (night shifters) decided to see how quickly they could make me cry.  I think I lasted all of 10 seconds.  Mission accomplished.  Good thing I love those two.  Otherwise, I'd be mad!

The girls planned a surprise "last day of work" party filled with mexican lasagna, bean/corn salad, other yummy dips, and cupcakes!  MFP took a day off today (although I think I was doing good on my calories until the red velvet cupcake).  I'm sure it will yell at me tomorrow for not logging my intake.  This is a prime example of why I'm so upset about leaving the unit.  I have amazing coworkers who went out of their way to make my last day special.  I even got a banner, just like we make for our kiddos who finish chemo!  I truly am blessed to know these women. 

Man....it's 1am already.  I have a 5am wake up call for my 5K.  In a few short hours, you can call me Iron Girl!!!

It's Bittersweet.....

First things first....can I just say how in LOVE I am with the My Fitness Pal app?!?!!?  I don't know how I lived life before this.  It is so similar to the points system for WW and tracking.  I think this will definitely help me in my weight loss challenge.  Plus, I'm in love with scanning the barcodes and having the info magically show up on my screen.  Easy Peasy!

Ok.  Now that's out of the way. On to the important stuff....

Me and change don't get along too well.  Actually I pretty much despise any significant change.  I stress out about hair color and styles (probably why my color's all grown out and my hair is in such a horrible state). I stress over pretty much everything.  So one can only imagine how much I'm freaking out about my HUGE change that's occuring right now. 

I have worked at All Children's for 3.5 years now on the oncology unit.  I have stuck with it when I thought I absolutely hated hem/onc (and actually I love it).  I've worked with the most amazing group of people this whole time and made some of the greatest friends.  All in all, I've had a wonderful time.  However, its time for a change.  My family and my marriage have suffered in the 5 years that I've been a nurse.  12 hour shifts are great but they come with strings attached.  Mandatory holidays, mandatory weekend requirements, shifts that turn into 13-15 hours shifts.  All of this made my life a little bit harder. So when the opportunity to move to our outpatient clinic presented itself, I had to take advantage of it. 

Starting Monday, I will be starting at the Hem/Onc/BMT outpatient clinic at All Children's.  Location-wise, it's not a big move.  Just across the street.  Patient population-it's the same.  I'll be taking care of the same patients I've been taking care of in the hospital setting.  But I'll be seeing the ones who are almost done with their cancer treatment.  Ones that we haven't seen in the hospital in months (and even years for some kids).  Hours-AWESOME!!!  I'll be working 4 10hr shifts/week.  No weekends or holidays.  Translation: I'll see my kids each night before they go to bed and I'll be able to spend the weekends and holidays at home, where I want to be more than anything.  The Hubs is so thrilled for this schedule.  He can't wait to be able to see me and do stuff.  I'm just excited that I won't have to miss family events, birthdays, get togethers, etc because I have to work on the weekends.  Oh and I get my own desk!  And I'll even have my own phone number with my name on caller ID.  How cool is that?!?

The trade off for all of these wonderful things I just listed.....CHANGE.  Cue the tears, anxiety, hives (yes I'm a loser and break out in hives from stress. Go ahead, call me a weirdo....I'm ok with it).  I have to learn a whole new system, work with a whole new group of girls, and most importantly, I have to leave all my friends on 7S.  That is going to be the hardest part.  I am not looking forward to tomorrow.  I'm sure I'll end up crying at some point and I'm sure I'll be questioning the decision all day long.  I am not looking forward to it at all.  And I can only imagine how I'll be Monday morning.  My new boss is already making fun of me because I've asked her 100 times where I need to go and how to get there.  I'm sure I won't sleep and will have an upset stomach, and be a Nervous Nelly.  But I know way down deep, this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing. God gave me this opportunity to grow as a woman, nurse, mother, and wife.  How could I not take Him up on it?

Now that you know how crazy I am, you must be thinking, "how is she going to survive until Monday?"  Well I can easily answer that.....avoidance.  Yes my go-to defense mechanism.  Why deal with it when you can avoid it!  So I have filled my day today with housework, blog stalking (in a non creepy way!!!), maybe a nap, and probably a run.  I work tomorrow then wake up really early on Sunday to run the IronGirl 5K at Clearwater Beach before heading to Parrish to ride on Thomas the Train (who really creeps me out but my son loves him.  The sacrifices I make because I'm a cool Mommy).  Then a new chapter in my life begins.  I'm sure I'll have nothing but great things to fill you in on after my first shift on Monday! 

So to honor my time on 7S, here are a few pics of my favorite moments:

Some great memories with the staff of 7S...there's always a lot of food and funny costumes

With some of my patients over the years..some cancer free, some still fighting and some earned their angel wings

   With all joking aside, I'm excited to make this change.  Yes, I'm really nervous and anxious but that's good.  It makes it exciting. 

I can't wait for my 5K this weekend and spending time with some of my amazing sisters!!!

Have a great weekend friends!!!
 

Jumping back on the wagon

Hi.  I'm Jessica and I'm a yo-yo dieter.  There.  I've said it. I have had a problem with weight ever since I can remember.  I've done Weight Watchers with much success many times.  Most recently, I've lost 25lbs (only to gain about 10 back) and it's time to get back on the wagon.  I'm not loving where I am right now and I know I'll feel a lot better once I start my weight loss journey again.  And I need to start exercising again.  I do Zumba occasionally and run way less than I should.  But this Weight Loss Challenge over at Running Backwards in High Heels is a nice way to get a jump start.

My goals are to lose another 30lbs, maybe even 40 since I've gained some of the weight back that I lost earlier.  I'm done having kids, since I have the most amazing 2 children in the world, so there's nothing holding me back.  I also want to become a runner.  I've done 2 half marathons (Disney Princess Half Marathon in 2010 and 2011) and I've done a 5K with another one in 3 days.  I've never been a runner and I don't really like it.  But it makes me feel so much better once I've done it.  There's something empowering about proving yourself wrong.  I never thought I could run and I did.  I have medals hanging on my mirror showing me every day that I can do it.  Now I just need to commit to it.  Once everyone in my house gets healthy again (the plague has struck our home), I'm getting back in the swing of things with running. 

Here are just a couple of various pictures of me through my weight loss journey this year.  And I am very embarrassed by the older, heavier pictures but why not put it out there and be vulnerable.

After finishing my first Disney Princess Half Marathon 2010...yes I ran in the tutu

This picture was a wake up call.  I can't believe how big I look.  March 2010

It's a bad pic but my arms look so thin after 3 months of WW.  August 2010

Looking and feeling great for Dannie's wedding.  October 2010

Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party 2010

Christmas Party with my favorite girls from work. December 2010



After finishing our second Disney Princess Half Marathon 2011

It's so dramatic to see how much I've changed in a year but I know I can be so much more.  I look forward to losing more weight and finding more of the real me.





Happy 116th Birthday!!!

I thought this posted yesterday but I guess I didn't actually publish it........

Happy Birthday to Chi Omega!  116 years ago today, 5 amazing women gather together and formed the most amazing sorority out there.  I am blessed and honored to say that I am a Chi Omega sister.  This sisterhood not only introduced me to the most amazing women (and best friends) that I know, it truly provided me with a place to feel at home and to be my true self.

I do not have the typical sorority story.  I did not do formal recruitment as a freshman.  I actually had no intentions of joining a sorority.  Yes, I always knew it would be fun but I didn't think it would be for me.  However, I was fortunate enough to be very good friends with a handful of Chi O's in my early years at USF.  Not until my junior year did I decide that I would join.  And I still never did recruitment.  I got COB'd on Bid Day (after all the festivities).  I will never forget Connie asking me for my address and handing me my bid card (which I have framed).  It was the first day that I met my Big.  From that moment on, I knew in my heart that I found where I truly was meant to be.

And even though I was an older sister in my pledge class, I never once felt like I didn't belong.  It was comfortable and familiar.  Granted my parents didn't understand it (and probably don't understand it to this day) but they supported it as much as they could.  I wore my letters with pride, just as I do today as I wear my lavalier in honor of Founders Day.  I couldn't begin to fathom why I waited so long to join the best group of women I've ever met (and probably will ever meet in my life). 

Leaving my sisters and my chapter when I transfered schools was the hardest thing I've had to do.  But my sisters were there for me.  I still have a strong group of Chi Omega women in my life who I am so thankful for! 

My husband doesn't understand it but I'm okay with that.  The love I have for Chi Omega is so strong and I value all that it's given me.  It was a dream of mine to have a Legacy and I finally have her. I can't wait to share my love for Chi Omega with her.

Thank you sisters of Theta Theta.  You opened up your arms to me and embraced me for forever.  I cherish all the memories and friendships that I've made.  You helped me realize and embrace the woman I was meant to be and supported me on my journey to becoming that woman.  I don't know where I would be without all of you!

I was in college before the digital camera craze so I only have a few pictures scanned into the computer.  I have loads more in photo albums.  Here are just some of my amazing sisters:

My amazing Carnation Family!  MBS, me, MLS, MGL, and my GGL

Pics from great Chi Omega times!!!!

The Carnation Family
"Loyalty under any and all circumstances"

Happy Birthday to my little brother too!  I can't believe my baby brother is 22 already.

 

Epic Fail

To call this an epic fail might be an understatement.  It might be me overreacting.  It might be me taking it too personally.  But all I know, my cake pops did not come out like this:


Bakerella makes it look so easy



They looked more like this:


A disgusting, dripping, not smooth chocolate mess

 I've been wanting to make cake pops for a while now.  I've been to Bakerella's site alot and have been inspired by her cute little creations so much that I decided to try them out for our fantasy baseball draft party. (Yes I play fantasy baseball and yes, we did have an actual draft).  So I ran out, gathered all my supplies and baked up a cake.  So I grabbed the recipe for cake pops from Bakerella's site here and went to work.

First....bake the cake.  Easy peasy.  It actually was a pretty cake coming out of the oven.

Then, for the fun part.  Crumble up the entire cake.  Make a mess with it.  I actually felt a little guilty ruining such a perfectly fine cake but if that's what I had to do, that's what I would do.  So it ended up looking like this:

Put it in a bowl and add frosting.  Now I think this is where I went wrong.  The recipe said to use almost an entire can so I did.  But from this point on, I think I was doomed.

Once that's all mixed (and it was kinda gross looking), shape mixture into balls. Now I don't like touching raw meat at all.  I have huge texture issues so this was a tad on the horrible side for me but for the sake of the cake pops, I put my big girl panties on and did it.

I think I made them too big thus having some issues dipping them.  They fell of sticks, got stuck in the bowl, dripped forever, you name it, it went wrong that way.  So instead of the millions I rolled, this is how many I ended up dipping:

I know I'm not a good dipper.  We established this when I made truffles for Christmas 2 years ago.  They're edible and delicious, just not pretty.  So I wasn't surprised when these babies looked so bad.  But what I wasn't expecting was the taste.  My cake pops almost tasted like I didn't cook the cake all the way.  I don't know if I added too much frosting or if the cake was too moist. But something was off.  People ate them (the kids LOVED them) but I thought they were weird.  I was bummed that I wasn't successful with the endeavor and made brownies to make up for it. 

But I will not let this keep me down.  I will make cake pops that are good and cute and adorable.  I will not let a bowl full of crumbled cake get the best of me!!!!  But until then, I'm sticking to cupcakes.  I'm good at those :)

A couple changes

I've been bored at home while the Hubs was watching Swamp Men (or Swamp People)....its a ridiculous  show.  So I found myself trying to learn more about blog design.  I've been jealous of everyone's cute banners and signatures and since Google is my best friend, I started teaching myself blog design 101.  It's nothing fancy (yet) but I kinda like it!  I hope you do too!  Oh and I changed the font back to normal since the Hubs said he couldn't read the blog with the other font.

I can't wait to share my attempt at making cake pops.  I think Bakerella will be very disappointed in me :(

It's back to work for me after having almost a week and a half off (not by choice, because of sick kiddos and a sick Mommy).  I hope I know what to do......

Spring Cleaning

Oh it's that time of year.  The time where everyone goes through their houses, notices how much stuff they've accumulated over the past year, and weeds out the non-necessities.  That is where I find myself today.  Surrounded (more like trapped) by toys upon toys upon toys.  It actually looks like Toys R Us threw up in my house.  Everywhere you turn, I'm sure you'll find some sort of toy.  I even think there are toys in my bedroom (that sounds a lot dirtier than I anticipated...just kids toys, that's it sicko).

Well enough is enough.  I've had it up to here (picture my hand up at my forehead).  I will regain control of my house.  The toys will not win this round!!!

So I've tackled Noah's clothes.  Poor kid finally had a growth spurt and it's time to move on to 4T/5T clothes.  He's so stinkin skinny that he probably only needs 3T but he's got long legs so all of his pants are too short.  Now I'm depressed at everything I have to get rid of because it means I have to start shopping in the big boy section...I'm not ok with that.  But I digress.  I've been pretty good about Emmy's clothes.  She just needs to grow a little bit more so she'll fit in her 18M clothes. And she needs spring clothes....dresses, skirts, shorts, you name it.  But thats another chore to tackle with the Hubs.

The rest of my weekend off from work (I can't wait to never work weekends again...only 3 more weekend shifts left....ever) looks the same....cleaning closets, getting rid of toys (a covert mission that hopefully no one notices toys are gone), cleaning the house, decorating for Easter/Spring, and our big draft.

Oh yeah, our fantasy baseball draft is tomorrow.  I guess I should start looking at everything and formulate a game plan, instead of trying to act like I have one to the Hubs.  The Dominators will be back on top this year (or for at least the first half of the season because I'm sure I'll be bored with it by the All Star Break). 

Happy Spring Cleaning Everyone!!!

~JRC~